Brain Needed Space
So we’re taking him somewhere where he can stretch out and postulate on everything going on in our life. You’re welcome to join us at www.dphowell.com.
This is indeed the final post on this blog. Last one out, please turn out the lights…
Top Secret BRK Project
Annnnd we have embeddery!
download the more awesomer one here: http://files.filefront.com/BRKProjectm4v/;13546127;/fileinfo.html
The response to the project was absolutely overwhelming. While I could not fit nearly everything in (there was no special pattern to choosing what went in and didn’t - I went in order as much as I could), everything that does not appear in the video is being sent on the BRK separately, along with all of the very kind notes I received addressed to him as well. I very much apologize that not everything would fit, most especially the extremely well done video clips. I had to make a judgment call, and for each clip I included, I would have to leave out 2 or more still pictures. As the clips stand better on their own than many of the pictures, they are being sent on to BRK individually with proper accredidation as well.
And with that, Internet, I have completed my duties as the BRK Executive Assistant. It’s been a slice.
–TJ
From BRK: This is absolutely incredible!! Thank you to everybody who participated, and a special thanks the the best executive assistant a WoW-blogger ever had! (We may have to contrive with Phil to find an appropriate present for the girl, whatdaya think?)
Your Response Has Been Overwhelming
Thank you. Your kind words, both in comments and emails, has been beyond anything I could’ve possibly imagined.
I have not raided in almost a week. I have neither blogged, made a movie, nor done a podcast. I have done the “you’re never getting a white bear mount” daily quest two or three times while saying hello to the guildies. And I bought another Oracles’ egg.
But I have read to my son every night, and played with him until he begged for mercy. I have done more housework — found the cat-funk in the bathroom! - and gotten more sleep that I have in many months, probably years.
So far, so good.
I’ve actually been recruited for a job in Orlando — mo’ money! — which would basically reduce my commute from a total of two hours per day to twenty minutes. Perhaps this is quitting-WoW karma? One can only hope.
I miss you all, can you imagine that? Why does one play WoW, right? Not for the scintilitaing poop-quests, no indeed. We play because of the people. Y’all are a pretty tight and upright bunch of folks, and I’m proud to know you.
One of the more popular requests is a last round of teeshirt sales, including the frequently hinted-at Spirit Beast shirt. Well, if our Vegas-domiciled artist can get off the pain-pills — poor b@stard basically got eaten by wild marmots — we’ll see what we can do.
Alright! Be good to TJ, we gotta run: cookin’ steak.
/wave!
Re: The Top Secret Project
1. The deadline for joining has passed.
2. The deadline for submissions remains the same.
3. Please STOP sending emails to my personal account about this.
4. Also, please, please, please PLEASE! stop sending emails to BRK about this!
To sum up - if you’re not in yet, it’s too late. If you are in, you have time to do your part. And lastly, if a post is signed “–TJ,” it wasn’t written by BRK and he shouldn’t be contacted about it.
Thanks!
–TJ
Farewell and Thank You
I have returned from my trip to see my wife in Philadelphia. In case you don’t know, she is one month into a four month contract job in Connecticut and we met up at my sister’s house. It was the highest of joys, and the lowest of lows.
People have frequently commented on how I’m able to maintain a job, my family, play WoW, and blog. Well, it seems I’ve failed at it. My wife, who I love more than anything, was able to beat into my skull that I was not doing a good job, but in fact doing quite a lousy job.
My wife has been saying for years that she feels WoW is my mistress, and I finally got the message. It has taken me much more time to understand and recognize her feelings than it should have, and I have a lifetime of making up to do as a result.
For the next three months, it is my pleasure to rededicate myself to my family. While I was in Philadelphia, I spent more time with my son in a weekend than I have in a long time. I loved it, and was saddened that I had allowed myself to not do more with him during my WoW-career.
As for my wife, the redheaded maelstrom of fury that I love more than anything, for whom I cannot seem to stop my tears from falling, it would seem that since I have dedicated so much time and energy into this public forum, there can be no better place than to tell you:
I love you beyond words
I apologize for not recognizing how I much I hurt you.
I am going to be the best father I can be.
I am going do everything I can to make your separation from your family as painless as possible.
I cannot count the days until you come home or I shall certainly break from the pain, so please come home soon.
To the readers of this space, I should also take a moment to thank you for you kind words and for keeping on clicking over here. I hope you will not just understand my decision, but perhaps use my situation to look at your own life and see if you are falling into the same trap that I did.
God bless you all, good luck, and Elune-speed,
Daniel
neé BigRedKitty
Behind the Hunter: The BRK Exposé, Part 1
BRK. The man. The myth in his own mind. You’ve followed him from Blogspot to Bigredkitty.net, from WoWInsider to Project Lore. But how much do you really know about the man behind the hunter? This question is best answered by answering your questions, using my years of carefully kept secrets and BRK insider information, to provide you with a clearer picture of the man who insists upon your worship.
Stop, from The Stoppable Force, asks: Crocolisks: how awesome are they?
BRK is a fan of crocolisks, but you’ll never hear him say it outloud. You’ve heard BRK occasionally speak of his son, Small BRK, but what you don’t know is that 11 years ago, BRK had another son. Unfortunately, the boy was born half crocolisk. Why do you think BRK lives in Florida? It’s so he doesn’t look conspicuous when he takes his son out of the half-flooded basement they keep him in to walk him at night.
Rua asks: What is the deal with this raspberry obsession?
Ah, so we get right into the good stuff quickly. What would a Behind the Hunter story be without a tale of addiction? In his youth, BRK battled extreme addiction problems to the flouride rinse used weekly in many elementary and middle schools. Maybe you’re familiar with it. If your parents hated you enough, they signed you up for the weekly rinse at school. BRK spent many years adding himself to the roster of local middle schools, trying to get his raspberry fix. Unfortunately, since he started balding at the age of 13, this became tougher and tougher for him to accomplish. Today, with his picture up as “arrest on sight” at schools all around Florida, BRK finds the only way to get his fix is to have that repulsive syrup added into his coffee. Make no mistake, it is a sad and disgusting story.
Ougrik asks: What class was BRK’s first character? How high level did he get before he saw a hunter’s pet cat under the effects of bestial wrath and decide he had to have one?
BRK’s first character was a rogue. After all of those years sneaking into schools, he felt most comfortable with a stealthy, sneaky role. Around level 13, in Ashenvale, high on raspberry syrup, BRK wandered into the cave of the Den Mother. Being under the influence and apparently stupidly immune to fear, he began to pick up her cubs and stuff them into his pack. Eventually, the Den Mother awoke, ready to rip his face off. BRK, having not the sense God gave a night elf hunter, removed his glove and slapped her across the face, challenging her to a duel. Instead of inciting a duel, though, the glove-slap actually removed a thorn from the Den Mother’s eye, earning BRK her loyalty forever. So for months, BRK wandered Azeroth as a rogue with a pack of bears following him around and doing his bidding. Eventually becoming sick of the complaints of hax, one night Blizzard changed his character to a hunter and the Den Mother to a cat. Being off his butt on syrup, BRK never actually noticed that it had not always been that way.
Willow asks: So….does BRK have any tattoos? If so, what and where, please.
No, BRK does not have any tattoos. However, he does occasionally take a black sharpie and write “YOU DA MAN” across his chest backwards, dramatically tearing his shirt open in front of the mirror many times per day.
Figworth asks: Does BRK have a big nose?
BRK doesn’t have a nose. It’s a very sore subject with him. However, he still loves his half-crocolisk son as much as he loves the other one.
Matt asks: So, I’ve always been curious, just what does BRK actually do at NASA?
To the best of my understanding, BRK works with the space monkeys they occasionally do spacey type tests on. After a hard day of testing, sometimes the monkeys are a little tired, a little dejected, and in need of some fun and an ego boost. That’s when they bring in BRK and let the monkeys beat him at checkers.
Actually, in seriousness, I’ve never quite managed to not tune out at least some part of a conversation with BRK, and thus don’t really have too clear of a picture of what he does. I’m reasonably certain it’s the monkey thing, but it also might be something along the lines of if something were to go wrong, BRK is among the people who make sure that any falling space vehicle would not fall on your head, your house or your pet goldfish.
*****
Internet, that is all I have for the first Part of the BRK Story, I hope I have cleared up a few points. Later this evening/tomorrow morning (even though I now live in Arizona, I still assume the majority of the planet is on EST for some unknown reason), I will be back with Part 2, in which I will tackle all of the serious hunter/WoW questions. If a man strung out on raspberry lattes can do it, there’s no reason I can’t.
DFTBA,
TJ
I’ve Changed All the Locks
Dear BRK Readers,
Your BRK has left the building. Behind the Hunter: The BRK Exposé is in production. However, I have decided to get my hair cut today, so it will not be posted until tomorrow.
As stated yesterday, please direct all BRK-related questions to temerity[dot]jane AT gmail.com to take advantage of my vast BRK insider information.
I will also be answering hunter questions, because if HE can do it… pft.
If you have burning queries about the “man” behind the hunter, or perhaps a question you have sent to BRK that he has callously ignored for months and months, or if maybe you’d just like a chance at getting your blog link up on BRK’s front page to shamelessly abuse his traffic levels for your own gain, do go ahead and send in a question. I cannot use them all, but the more I can use your question for evil and/or hilarity, the more likely I am to post it.
Please make sure that your email includes “BRK Question” in the subject line, and come back tomorrow morning, when all will be revealed.
Yours in Warlock,
TJ
PS - Serious hunter questions and serious questions in general most especially needed.
Notes About Everything
We’re totally going out of town this weekend, so no posts Friday through Sunday, at a minimum. Tuesday night we have another launch, so things are going to get messy posting-wise next week as well. If TJ weren’t so busy making X-rated stick-figure drawings, we’d ask her to post something of her own here, but right now, we’re just too leery of what might happen to our readers’ delicate constitutions should she do so. Of course we won’t be able to actually stop her if she chooses to…
In good news, twenty-four of the spirit beast pull-toy orders have been officially shipped. The international orders will be the last to go, as we have some customs forms to butcher before the post office will accept the boxes.
Also, our tee-shirt artist is back on the job after a long recovery from his multiple injuries and maladies. We’ll present his story once he writes it all down. We’re not sure if he’s off the Percocet, so it might be a doozy.
In BRK movie-news, we’re getting so many requests for Power Aura help that we may make another movie of this addon. Baby Hunter part 4 will be published on Project Lore on Sunday. We have five more Naxx movies to make, but we’re not sure if we’ll get to them before Ulduar arrives. We’ve had a request for Sarth 2D, so that may get done as well.
Aetherial Circle is recruiting… get ready for it… ranged DPS. We have melee DPS out the ying-yang, so no rogues, warriors, paladins, enhancement shaman, or crazy priests who like to stabby-stab-stab with their dagger.
An elemental shaman would really be nice. A mage would be welcomed, a warlock too. No hunters unfortunately as we have three who raid regularly already – no you can’t have our spot! – and we have two shadow priests, so that’s probably not at the top of our guild’s list of needs… they do some d@mn-fine DPS though, so perhaps a third wouldn’t be bad. Our GM is a Boomkin, so he might put the kibosh on another, but then again, perhaps he’d like company at the bottom of the meters.
…
But if you would not mind running with a guild of nincompoops and @sshats who’ve cleared all content except Sarth 3D – and we start that next week – visit http://www.aetherialcircle.com/ and drop an app in the appropriate forum.
[Muaah ha ha ha ha. Please send all of your burning BRK questions to temerity.jane AT gmail.com, and they will all be answered this weekend, either truthfully or made-up-ily, as I decide, in a weekend Behind the Hunter: The BRK Exposé post. Make sure you put "BRK Question" in the subject line and include your blog link if you have one. --TJ]
BiS, PoS, EiEiO
We always approach the term “Best in Slot” with caution, because things that have “the best stats” don’t always result in you having “the best stats”.
For instance: these boots have no Hit Rating. The boots they are replacing are the Pack-Ice Striders, boots that happen to have loads of Hit Rating.
If you equip these BotRF and don’t have the gem-slots available to recover those thirty-nine Hit Rating points, you actually could decrease your DPS by slapping these on. We had to change out four gems to keep our Hit Rating above 263, while making sure not to affect our Chaotic Skyflare Diamond Relentless Earthsiege Diamond meta-gem while we shifted everything around. If you don’t have the gold, the guild-connections, the materials, the available gem-slots, or some other way to overcome the loss of Hit Rating when “upgrading” gear, a piece of “BiS” could be, for you, a “PoS”.
iLevel ratings on gear are very handy, but they don’t always tell the entire story.
…
These are really nice boots, though, aren’t they.
BRK Naxx Movie: Anub’rehkan
To download the BRK-sized (79MB) movie, please right-click here.
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