Ding 64 and Secret Blizz Class Notes
Blizz has secretly admitted that the trolls on the WoW forums are correct; hunters, warlocks, shaman, goblins, and Hogger are overpowered and need a nerf bat sufficiently applied so that holy priests, resto druids, dead rogues corpses, and cockroaches should be able to win in a duel against them. Thus, Blizz has decided to make one huge change to the core values used to develop all classes. Before they slap an injunction on BRK, read this and distribute it hinder and yon:
Every spec of every class should have exactly the same capabilities as every other spec of every other class.
No longer should hunters be the most capable ranged dps class. Protection warriors will gain Shield Discus and will be able to cut mobs in half from behind rocks and trees, up to 46 yards away.
No longer should warriors be the best tanks. Mages will be given Kevlar Bullet-Proof Rainments; cloth sets with armor in the five-digit range for each piece.
No longer should mages have the most potent AOE spells. Rogues will be given Backstab Cascade, an AOE attack where the rogue throws a box of daggers into the air and that damages all mobs in an area and roots them to the ground.
No longer should rogues be the highest melee-dps class. Priests will be able to train Nurse Ratched’s Touch of Death. A purely melee skill, when it crits, a giant pillow is placed over the enemy’s mouth and they suffocate.
No longer should priests have a strangle-hold on healing. Warlocks will be given a Demonic Doctor pet that heals like a paladin but looks like a Fel Reaver.
No longer should warlocks be the only class that can cast DOTs over numerous individuals almost simultaneously. Druids will gain Mark of the Plague and cast it as a debuff on enemies, causing nature damage and bad breath.
No longer should druids be capable of morphing into whatever a party needs most at any given time. Paladins will have Housewife Aura, which, when active, will cause all affected by it to be able to tank, heal, dps, cook, clean, and repair broken mechanostriders.
No longer should paladins have the greatest abilities against the Undead. Thus, Shaman shall be given Totems of Buffy the Slayer which cause holy damage to all undead within a 50 yard radius, and cause an unnatural attraction to Freddie Prinze Jr.
And no longer will Shaman be the only class to be able to use totems. Hunters will get Totem of the Pet Sitter. TotPS will act like a stable slot that a hunter can use to temporarily store their active pet while they train another one to get a new pet attack skill.
Now back to reality.
Every class is not designed to “beat” some other class; it is not rock, paper, scissors. Every class is designed to fulfill specific roles in the WoW Society. It only makes sense that the class designed to provide large amounts of ranged and sustained dps would be the king of honor kills and hardest to beat one-on-one in PvP. One can argue that a class needs a nerf, but not based upon the fact that, “you cannot beat them”.
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8 Responses to “Ding 64 and Secret Blizz Class Notes”
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… Thank you for the laugh …
I want that whole pillow priest thing though… that would rock…
*sigh*
Why are Hunters always the bad guys that should continuously be nerfed? We’re good at ONE thing (well, actually, we’re good at a lot of things, but there’s one thing we specialize in, which is true of all classes), why must they always try to take it away from us?! :*(
I mean, nerfing hunters’ ranged damage would be like nerfing rogues’ stealth. It’s a key skill for the class, and is an invaluable resource, for both PvP and PvE.
For every hunter that PvPs and OMGWTFUBERPWNS someone, there’s at least a dozen other hunters that PvP and go “Oh Snap! I just got knocked the f–k out!” All the awesome abilities in the world won’t save someone who sucks at PvP, and the reverse is also true: all the nerfing in the world will not stop a great PvPer from royally whopping your ass. People should just stop whining and instead focus on ways to improve themselves based on their classes own abilities, rather than trying to take away the abilities of other classes so they can feel better about themselves as players. This whole NERF TEH UBER HUNTERZ mentality is tantamount to throwing a tantrum, stomping your feet, and insisting that Nanny take away your brother’s teddy bear because it’s more fuzzy than yours. People need to get over it already! Your teddy bear is just as good as ours, just different!
/rant
*deepbreath*
I feel much better now.
PvP in WoW can be a lot of fun. I found it fun enough to make Sergeant with an alt and Blood Guard with my main before I was stopped by the 2.0.1 patch / honor change.
But WoW PvP is not a test of skill.
There are any number of in-game inequities ranging from level attained to skills trained to gear to talent specs to racial abilities.
Group factors include pre-mades, communications systems like Vent, just plain teamwork in general (not to mention those battlegrounds that open with one side outnumbering the other, like a 15-7 AB).
And we could go on… Access to / use of potions, scrolls, engineering equipment, enchants…
Twinks, anyone?
Need I say more?
I would guess that the classes, racial abilities, skills, and talents are tuned to the PvE challenges, especially instances and raid dungeons.
It was obvious after the release of the 2.0.1 patch in December that PvP was the ‘poor stepchild’. The ridiculous imbalance of the classes and the crashing battlegrounds servers and almost-immediate honor nerf made it painfully obvious that PvP was not well-thought-out, nor was it tested (beta testers typically reported that they never saw BG action on the beta realms at all).
So enjoy PvP for what it is…
An adrenaline rush.
A good time.
Well, I suppose getting hit with the nerf bat is always viewed as an over-reaction when you’re the one getting nerfed. That being said, I agree with the general tone of the comments here.
All the classes are good at a small handful of things. Those talents can (usually) be maximized in a number of ways. It is up to the player’s skill level to determine how effectively your use of a talent is compared to someone else with the same talent or a different talent.
That being said, there are particular talents that apply themselves better to particular situations. Playing primarily a Druid (with a hunter alt), being able to switch forms into an walrus (or whatever the hell that thing is) is a great talent if I’m wanting to farm stranglekelp, not so good if I’m wanting to do damage to a murloc. Likewise, the ability to do lots of ranged damage while your pet occupies your target is great for PvP, not so great for picking herbs.
Let us not forget though, that one of the over-riding criteria for success in this game is “doing damage”. You could play this game with no professions, no mount, no guild, etc.; but as long as you could dish out decent damage you’re going to move forward.
So again, while I agree with the overall tone of the argument, what I think you’re not factoring in, that fuels the resentment from other classes, is that Hunters are REALLY good at one of the core elements of success in the game. I’m not suggesting that isn’t fair; I certainly don’t want to play an overly-homogenized game, but I do think that may a root cause for cries for the nerf bat originate.
It looks like it’s just your turn in the bucket. Tomorrow it will be us Druids or someone else. People always want to complain that someone else has an advantage. I say “shut up and play”. If you can’t enjoy this game then you can’t enjoy any game.
BTW - Gratz on 64!
62 for me tonight hopefully.
“I say “shut up and play” ”
hehe made me smile, when you said that I thought of
“LEARN TO PLAY YOUR CLASS OR RE-ROLL”
like we need more hunters who dont know what the hell they are doing.. (survivalist hunters anyone?
/sigh)
As for damage dealing amanna, Im sure were most “good” hunters shine is when soloing correct? If your a BM hunter, you wtfpwn at soloing (im assuming since ur pet is a wtfubertank) but when it comes to raids/ 5mans, I think, as a BM hunter myself, that we loose our steam. I mean, pets are no doubt a great asset to a group, if a hunter knows how to control his/her pet.
But once a boss comes up, does it tend to be that the pet is not used because it has low reisistance or just gets killed to easily?
Your thoughts?
Well, my hunter is only lvl 27 being an alt and all, so I’ve only had him in Deadmines and Stockades. I can say my pet (an owl here - no ubertank), performed well.
I also remembering reading an article somewhere (can’t remember) about a raid group using a hunter pet to tank the final boss in ZG and it worked great (immune to fear, etc. etc.).
Just goes back to what you said: Learn to play or re-roll
“But once a boss comes up, does it tend to be that the pet is not used because it has low reisistance or just gets killed to easily?”
Why does your pet have low resistances? If you are on a scheduled raid, lets say you’re doing UBRS, you know you’re going to need fire resistances. Go to the pet trainer, spend your 10 silver, respec your pet, get Fire Resist Rank 4 for 120 fire resist. If you’re running Hellfire Ramparts, respec for Fire and Shadow Resist 3.
A hunter pet should never take aggro from the main tank during boss fights. Make sure Growl is off during boss encounters.
Remember that you can create a macro to turn Growl on and off. Should a mob escape from the tank and go after a squishy, send your pet, turn on Growl, hit Intimidation, and you can save the squishy’s life.