BRK was tickled and giggling after the 2.0.10 class nerfs were published for the test realms. Screaming, crying, and bickering people make him hungry because he knows that, while they’re focused on whining in forums, they’re not paying attention in PvP. So, in the spirit of derision and unfair play, BRK has some ideas for the next nerf from Blizz. Hunters, let’s see just how much anger and hostility we can whip up, shall we?

Druids

Forget leather armor, go back to cloth. A druid wearing leather is like a PETA activist wearing a housecat fur coat with matching kittenskin boots. When a druid shifts to animal form, they lose all the cloth armor they had and have to equip another set made from fur or scales. Druids, you already carry fourteen sets of gear, what’s one more?

Priests

Every time a priest dies, he or she drops a [Catnip-Flavored Piece of Soul] kitty treat. BRK is tired of his breath tasting like candles.

Mages

Mages get leather armor. I mean, why the heck not? They don’t run, maneuver, duck, jump, parry, or do anything to get out of the way that doesn’t involve blinking or free-falling. In fact, let them wear mail and plate, too. And cement boots. Oh hell, just nail them to the ground. Also, the reward for making level 10 as a mage is a nice shiny skateboard to encourage them to move a little.

Warlocks

BRK has a slight affinity for warlocks as they too have “pets”. However, as other warlocks have pointed out, a warlock’s pet is actually a conjured slave. That’s fine, but why do all these demons just do nothing put complain? If BRK was told to that he was being sacrificed to boost his hunter’s stamina for a few minutes, he’d open up a Friskies can of whoop-@ss, you can bet. If the Infernal pet rebels at his captivity, so should they all.

Let’s give all warlock pets a 1% chance at breaking free of his master’s power every tick, shall we? Master of the subtle arts of the shadow? How about giving your felhound a damn Milkbone every once in a while, you heartless b@stards.

Paladins

For this, BRK wants CT_Raid Assist modified. Every time a paladin is assigned as a Main Tank, all other non-paladins in the raid spontaneously burst into laughter for 10 seconds. After a three second pause, they do it again. Every other class also gets special new emotes for this situation only:

“Guess I gotta go back to Fireball Rank 1 for this instance; don’t want to grab aggro.”
“Ha! I gotta go back to Arcane Shot Rank 1, and I have to wait 30 seconds before I begin to fire, and my pet has to spam Cower the entire time.”
“Can I off-tank? Shadow Priest FTW!”
“Hello? Warrior with a shield here! Hello?!”

Shaman

Every time a shaman gets an armor quest reward in Outland, Magatha Grimtotem will descend from the heavens and give the shaman player a swift, Tauren-sized boot in the pants. The butt-kicking will add a “-1 mana per 5 seconds” buff on the leggings, leave a visible horseshoe imprint, and can stack 127 times.

Rogues

Every rogue who purchases a white gryphon mount will lose the ability to stealth. Jeebuz guys, it’s not that hard; you’re supposed to be difficult to see. Don’t ride a white beacon of light visible from one side of Outland to the other.

And finally, Warriors

Every time a warrior challenges a beastmaster hunter to a duel, the warrior is presented with a text box that says,

“Just assume you lost. Please hit OK to continue.”