“I’d like to talk to you about your positions on warriors and how they pull sometime in the near future too. No scopes. Damage dealt with a pull is not necessary. Stats are nice. How far should a warrior go in gearing ranged weapons for pulls? Any comments”

You people and your questions designed to piss me off are just getting to be too much. Let me say, let me state for the record, let me be heard far and wide, let the bells ring and the banners wave,

There is never a good reason to let a warrior pull, excluding ignorance and laziness. Period.

Just a second, I’m gonna need some cocoa for this post.

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Ooo, dark chocolate, yum.

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{sip}

Ok, then. Let’s run down some reasons why warriors pull:

I want to build aggro as soon as I can so that my rage will increase quickly.

This situation assumes that there is a single target, say a boss in an instance, and the possibility of aggro’ing other mobs is nil, right? The warrior wants aggro, we all understand that and we all want that. We hunters want you to tank, plate-boy, so let us help you.

If there is a warrior who can generate more aggro with his ranged weapon than I can with Misdirection and a 3000 crit Aimed Shot, followed by a 1500 crit Arcane Shot, I’ll quit WoW and go play Dr. Seuss’s ‘Pet The Lorax’ for WII. Do not give me any excuse other than you’re inexperienced playing with a competent hunter. That I’ll believe, but then let me educate you. If you insist on pulling, you’ve just proved the axiom that Warriors are designed for those who hate to think.

I don’t want to have to Taunt aggro off of a Hunter.

I don’t play a warrior. I’ve tried, I was terrible, so I quit. If you, as a professional tank, are incapable of getting aggro from a mob to whom I’ve done a measly 140 damage, you too should hang up your gear and get a WII controller. But if you really and truly need even less aggro on me, then I’ll Feign Death as soon as the mob is standing on your toes; you don’t even have to move. Taunt is a spell, right? It’s on your action bar somewhere? You have the ability to press that button at a specific time?

Nobody knows how to Wait For Sunders anymore. They just start pounding DPS before the mob is with five yards of me, and if I don’t pull and at least have a chance to do my job - a job I’m d@mn good at - I’m gonna go postal on some stupid squishy and I don’t want to get banned for violating the WoW TOS.

Now this BRK understands, has witnessed, and fights against. We totally sympathize and want to help. BRK understands that soloing a protection warrior is not easy; Mr Tank, you have a friend in me. Let me aid you. We hunters want nothing more than to serve you mob after mob on a nice silver platter. It is our pleasure to save your repair bills and prevent wipes from bad pulls by using The Ultimate Zone of Perfect Safety. You think healers are the only ones who care about you?

No, baby, we care about you. We know how you feel, how you hurt. That’s right sweetie, just relax for a while and let us take pamper you. Don’t cry, it’s OK, we’re here. Those mean mages and rogues won’t come between us; we’re gonna be good to you, we promise. Priests will heal your body, but hunters will soothe your mind and ease your troubled heart.

Next time we’re against a three-mob pack, we’re gonna tell the mage to sheep the Circle, and we’re gonna Freeze Trap the Square. We’re gonna tell everybody not to DPS until told to do so. We’re gonna cast Misdirection on you, then gently tag the mob marked with a Skull every so gently with our Arcane Shot (Rank 1) to pull that group, and no other mobs or patrols, right at you. The Circle will get sheeped, the Square will be Frozen, and the Skull will run right to you. Yeah… just like that, we know how you like it right there, don’t you. Just get in defensive stance and do your thing. No running, no nasty bows, and your shield is right there, all toasty warm and ready for you.

Now, you go ahead and Sunder. We’re gonna tell the party again that nobody except the Hunter is to fire until told to do so. Misdirection still has two more shots available to give you aggro, so we’re gonna give you a nice Aimed Shot and then a big Arcane Shot. Your Sunders and our +3000 damage that’s been Misdirected onto you means that mob isn’t going anywhere; it’s all yours. We’re gonna tell the rest of the party to start DPS’ing and you just let us take it down nice and fast.

There, it’s pretty and dead, you didn’t even have to move. Feel better baby? OK, now the mob in the trap is still aggro’d from the Misdirections, so go ahead wait for the trap to break, or if you want to, go get it. Yeah, sweetie, if you want to break that ice, you just do it. Oo! So powerful! BRK is all a-quiver just watching you. There are your Sunders, so we’ll tell the gang to DPS… and that’s two down.

Now there’s the sheep. Oh my! Look at you so excited! You just ran over there and did some cool karate-chop thing with that blood-slicked sword! How wonderful! Sunders, DPS… and down it goes. Look at that smile on your face! Oh, sweetie, I know, don’t cry; it’s beautiful when crowd control, aggro control, and Focused Fire DPS work together… here’s a tissue, just sit for a few minutes, BRK has a conclusion to write, ok?

Shh… ok, keep quiet, our tank is resting, so let’s discuss the rest of the question. It is BRK’s opinion that a warrior should have a ranged weapon for stats, just like a hunter should have a melee weapon for stats. If a warrior wants to waste money on a scope, BRK isn’t going to complain, but you really don’t need it.

Let Hunters Pull. Don’t make tanks have to try to pull a single mob from a pack and have to live with the guilt of wiping the party because they have zero aggro-mitigation skills. Don’t make them run into a room and try to fire when a hunter has practically double their range and can attack from the safety of a doorway. Give your tanks all the aggro they could possible want by using Misdirection.

And please, everybody, don’t attack the mob before the tank has not only established, but solidified aggro. Just because they wear plate doesn’t mean they don’t have a delicate constitution and a frail disposition.

Tanks are people too, you know.