“I seem to recall you promising us the story of the time you got a pat on the back and a newspaper on the nose for the same incident at work! You got us curious… lets have a ‘Behind BRK’ post regarding this! Cheers Amanda”

During our time in the Air Force, one of our assignments was flightline and backshop maintenance on several electronic sensor suites onboard U-2 reconnaissance aircraft. A three-month deployment to RAF Fairford during the Bosnia crisis gave us the opportunity to be in charge of the launch team. Launching a U-2 is no simple thing, and ensuring the entire suite of sensors operated properly before launch took many hours.

Our section was LGMVE and we had a little corner office with test equipment, tools, and a lockable office with our security container. We had classified equipment in there that was controlled via a combination lock and the key to the office door. Now this particular office was, at one time, used as a production supervisors office and it had a window that overlooked the hanger floor. The glass had been removed and a piece of plywood had been installed, providing that much more security. There was one key to this office and it was handed over after every shift.

We were woken one morning, very early, and told to get to work. An unscheduled launch was just requested by NATO and the plane needed to get into the air, ASAP. We dressed and drove to the hanger to get our sensors calibrated and ready to go. But at the office, the LGMVE mids supervisor was nowhere to be found. He was gone, absent, totally missing. And with him…

The Office Key.

Inside that office was the safe. Inside the safe was our crypto equipment. The crypt codes changed daily and we needed to get the codes so that our sensors would be able to talk to everybody else they needed to talk to. But we couldn’t get the codes without getting in the d@mn door, and our cohort was apparently still in London recovering from a night of excessive debauchery. We searched everywhere to find a RAF member who might know anybody who might have a duplicate key. Nothing. An hour away from launch and we still were separated from our crypto equipment when a friend of ours recommended smashing down the door. We said,

“That’s typical crew chief thinking; excessive use of force in the face of a small problem. Go get your hammers and go fix some cockpit instruments or something, for I have a much more sophisticated plan. I’m gonna smash in the window.”

The door was heavy and designed to withstand people who did not require entry attempting to force their way past it. The window and it’s 1/4″ thick plywood defense was begging to be smashed. And smash it we did. Splinters everywhere, we tossed it aside, scrambled through the opening, opened our safe, grabbed our crypto, casually opened the door, strutted out and over to the aircraft, got it preped and ready on-time for launch.

After the launch, we went back to the office, cleaned up a little and then went back to the dorm where we made something to eat and went back to sleep.

The next day we got a call from our supervisor. Get to the Commander’s office NOW. Holy cr@p, the commander? What does a full-bird colonel want with us?

We boogied over to his building where our supervisor, his supervisor, and the maintenance officer were waiting for us. The colonel’s secretary said, “Gentlemen, wait here. The colonel wishes to see Sergeant Howell alone.”

We knocked, he said Enter, we reported with a salute, he told us to sit down.

“Sergeant Howell, it’s been reported that you destroyed a window in the hanger. Explain.” I explained.

“Sergeant Howell, your destruction was witnessed by a member of the RAF. They reported it to their supervision. They saw the safe, so they reported it to their investigative services. They called the OSI [Ed: the OSI is the Air Force's version of the FBI] and they and the RAF have descended on the place. The whole hanger has been locked off, and they’re demanding your head.”

Gulp. He held up a piece of paper.

“Sergeant Howell, do you see this? It’s a letter from the OSI. Do you see this other letter? It’s from the Secretary of State. They used the pictures from that flight over Bosnia at the United Nations to show proof of mass graves. The US government is extremely pleased with us for providing the services we did.

“So here’s my predicament, Sergeant Howell. I have two security organizations out there who want you put in jail for Breaking and Entering, and Destruction of Her Majesty’s Property. And I have the Joint Chiefs who want me to award you an Achievement Medal for getting that bird up in record time to support a mission critical to Presidential foreign policy.

“As the commander of this organization, I have full authority over my people. And I am going to exercise that right now. I think these two pieces of paper cancel each other out. No jail, no medal. You will repair that window out of your own pocket. Now get outta my office.”