Things You Cannot Do
You cannot Misdirect a Karazhan rat onto your priest. Distracting Shot causes no damage, a rat is a yellow… thing, it should work! Yet when you Misdirect the rats, they just bug-out and run all over the place. Extremely disappointing, to say the least.
You cannot be flying over Halla, see a PvP-flagged horde in mid-air, become a Pararescue Skydiver, dismount, pop your Sha’tari Skyguard cape to cause a slowfall for ten seconds, shoot that horde and dismount him. They always get out of range, even on a 60% flying mount. We want a Quicker On The Draw enchant.
You cannot farm Motes of Air in Shadowmoon Valley without that d@mn rare elite floating eye showing up.
You cannot see that d@mn rare elite floating eye show up without announcing its presence to the entire guild, even though you know some crazy people are going to want to kill it, even though the entire guild knows it drops cr@p.
You cannot farm just one Cobra Scale, you must have two. And when you finally get that second Cobra Scale, the very next Cobra you kill will drop another scale, putting you at an odd number yet again. Maddening is not the word.
You cannot tease us with the +12 agility enchant to boots. Some things are sacrosanct.
You cannot tease us about our DPS when we Auto Shot our way through an instance because we know the tank is an undergeared alt and we didn’t want to pull aggro. This is fine, but getting uppity and snarky in the private chat-channel, even though we all know it’s totally in jest, demands retaliation! What we’ll do is get Brigin to tank Arcatraz for us - because he generates more threat than any tank we know - and then go full-bore DPS-insane. Yes, we’re that immature.
You cannot run Arcatraz without stopping to listen to those two bosses argue. They are a riot, especially when you kill the female boss first and then the male boss thanks you.
You cannot have enough leather. Ever. It’s an addiction. It’s sick. We need help, an intervention, a frontal lobotomy, something!
You cannot get fair market value for manufactured goods. If one buys four Primal Airs at 20 gold each, two Cobra Scales for 20 gold each, and four Heavy Knothide Leathers for 8 gold each, the material cost for a Cobrahide Leg Armor kit is 152 gold. If a we say, “I’ll charge you mats-costs only,” and then quote you 152 gold, don’t get mad. We’re not going to run around Shadowmoon Valley to farm Cobra Scales for you for free; that’s not our job.
You cannot have enough Sporeling Snacks. Ever.
You cannot try to rip us off and try to sell us a stack of 20 Strange Spores for 20 gold. What’s the d@mn matter with you?
You cannot argue about “No Summonses to Kara” rules. You don’t have to like it, but get yer @ss to the instance yourself like everybody else and shut up.
You cannot get the Sonic Spear to drop if Fate is against you. We stepped into a Shadow Lab run where the party was at Murmur and someone had to leave. Hobbes tanked Murmur, we rocked the house, Murmur down. Nada, no Spear. We may have to think about getting some of the daggers that drop in Karazhan and hold them for when the +20 agility enchant to one-handed weapons comes out.
You cannot fear a Bestial Wrathed pet, even in Halaa. Priests, you will live longer if you heal yourself for eighteen seconds and scream for help.
You cannot tell us that was a fat-free orange mocha! It wasn’t, my god we can tell you screwed it up! Just admit it!
You cannot try to sell us either Fel Mana Potions or Elixirs of Major Agility for more than three gold apiece. We’ll just buy the mats off the Auction House and have one of our guild’s 238 alchemists make them for us. We understand the concept of Making a Profit, but don’t be an @ss.
You cannot NOT have a scope on your bow or gun. That’s a hunter license-pullin’ offense if we catch you.
You cannot NOT know how to make a macro. One need not be able to program to be able to do a simple “/target demon chains” macro. If you’ve never messed with macros, do so now before it’s critical.
You cannot NOT use your pet. No no no no no. No.
You cannot dual-wield and then complain you cannot afford the +15 agility enchants. There are any number of two-handed weapons that will do a great job for you and will accept the readily-available +35 agility or +70 attack power enchants. You want to dual-wield that’s your business, but getting your +15 agility enchants is a You Problem.
You cannot wash your foot when you step on a slug and it explodes and gets slug juice and dirt and leaves all over you. The mucus a slug produces chemically reacts with water and gets sticker when wet. The trick is to dry the slug-stuff completely then peel it all off, then wash. If you do those procedures backwards, you’ll have dried, sticky, slug juice on you for the next couple of days.
Sorry TJ. We should’ve looked that up first before giving you advice. Our bad, totally.
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38 Responses to “Things You Cannot Do”
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You cannot forget to put this in your lines of cannots.
You cannot stop reading BRK’s blog.
you are farming motes of air in the wrong place… go north of the aldor city at the edge of the world… air elementals and shadow serpents are all that’s up there… you’ll get your motes in peace and a few cobra scales to boot… mobmap addon will show you where I mean
you CANNOT farm motes of air on the elemental shelf in nagrand without 900 alliance guys deciding to do the same at the exact same time…
You cannot name your pet anything similar to “Demon Chains”, fight Illhoof, and still expect your macro-targeting guild to remain happy.
Dangit.
rhust, can you explain your motes of air location better?
…go north of the aldor city at the edge of the world…
That’s where we farm ‘em. Collidus spawns there, too, the b@stard.
I was NOT snarky! lol… I think… what’s snarky again?
@ armsandfury
snark·y /?sn?rki/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[snahr-kee] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–adjective, snark·i·er, snark·i·est. Chiefly British Slang.
testy or irritable; short.
I hate to say it but I am guilty of
“You cannot NOT have a scope on your bow or gun. That’s a hunter license-pullin’ offense if we catch you.”
I am working on getting the mats for the crit scope and an engineer is going to make it for me. I can never find one on the AH, and even if I did they are ridiculous priced.
Nameless, you are excused. However, you need a “Buying A Crit Scope” card and it has to be punched every day to prove you’re actually farming the mats.
I so want to do the jump off at the lm, slowfall or ‘chute cape fall over to BS and drop down a world of hurt on the opposing faction. Hell, I’d make a macro to call pet, fire and move on just for that!
(doesn’t hurt I was rewatching the Band of Brothers DVD set over the Labor Day weekend)
Step 1: Go activate the jump-a-tron in SE Nagrand. This works particularly well if you’re a druid who can go birdy form in midair to not take 30 seconds to fall to the ground.
Step 2: Fly at epic speeds to Halaa, about 45 seconds or so.
Step 3: Arrive at Halaa with between 1:10 and 0:40 left on your 2 minute feather fall buff from the jump-a-tron.
Step 4: Dismount/shift out of bird form ABOVE that snarky hordie/allance guy who is hovering, flagged, above Halaa just waiting for people to leave so he can land, flag, and try to capture it.
Step 5: Instant casts of doom. Again, this works well as a Druid who can moonfire spam with the occasional insect swarm. On average, I can pump out 7 moonfires and 2 insect swarms before they realize what’s going on. Works even better since they’re dots and will continue to hurt after the person has started running.
Step 6: If you manage to kill them in mid-air, fly up to their corpse before they release and /mock
Step 7: Profit!
And that’s why Fio is the GM.
And now if we can just keep him from falling asleep at the keyboard.
It’s still not all off, thanks, BRK.
There’s been a saying in my guild now for a long time. This blog reminded me of it.
Don’t tell me how to play my class
It’s the perfect answer to everything, especially when someone tells you that you can’t do something.
-guy
PS: I’m back, did you miss me? =P
Hey, drug-induced stupor from massive quantaties of antihistamines required to keep my eyes and throat from swelling shut = valid excuse.
@tj
Use baby wipes, my daughter had a thing for slugs, I tried everything, including scraping it off with a semi-sharp knife. None of it worked, tried the baby wipes, worked like a charm.
dang, I never see a rare spawn there, or see any other player for that matter…
north of the aldor city is a mountain, the opposite side of the mountain is where you want to go… it’s a thin strip of world that you could easily fall off… my druid buddy hates it there…
mobmap is how I found the place… click on the drop chances tab, search for mote of air and you’ll see that the BEST drop % is in nagrand on the elemental shelf, with 9000 other players competing for about 10 air elementals. #2 is anywhere in shadowmoon…
BRK, what is the enchant option you suggest in lieu of a scope? I must have missed your post on that topic.
http://www.wowitemcreator.com/view/95981/The_BRK_Special.html
Just thought you might enjoy that.
On a side note, looks like BRK’s popularity is growing:
http://www.wowitemcreator.com/view/95981/The_BRK_Special.html
Baby wipes? Baby wipes. A simple solution, but you know what I did instead of baby wipes?
I LISTENED TO BRK.
Be ye not so foolish!
“You cannot get fair market value for manufactured goods.”
God, this one is so true and so annoys me, although I usually get mad at other crafters, not the customers.
I mean, I get it when it’s for an item that gives the crafter skill; they’re willing to essentially absorb a loss to skill up (although sometimes the loss these people will take for one skill point is absurd). But you’ll see this phenomenon even for crafted items that take max skill, and I just can’t understand this behavior. You don’t have to take an economics class to get this! Sometimes I feel like I’m watching capitalism die.
My customers will argue with me sometimes if they think I’m charging too much, but they pretty much have to shut up when I reveal the logic behind my prices. If they want to pay less than the mats are worth, they can take a hike. I’m not that dumb, but they’re more than welcome to find someone who is.
Ha!
–adjective, snark·i·er, snark·i·est. Chiefly British Slang.
testy or irritable; short.
I was not test or irritable! Short, used here, applies to duration and not height so suck it!
Thanks to Rabid for use of the online dictionary. ( I swear make on comment about not knowing something on the net and… grumble grumble will feed him to Ozma he does that again grumble grumble )
the worst example I can think of on the mfg. goods is the felstalker/clefthoof sets… they take a ton of expensive mats, but can’t be sold for even the price of the primals alones… I blame the set bonuses being dependent on having leather working at 350+ my feral druid buddy loves the clefthoof set even without the set bonus for tanking, but no one would pay for the hours farming all the thick clefthoof leather… same with the felstalker set… absolutely awesome set for a hunter, but good luck paying for 1/2 of the primals by selling the pieces
So, a few nights ago, an old friend and engineer guildie returned to playing WoW. He thought he could kick WoW by spending oodles of money on solo play computer RPG’s, but as he said, he got tired of his party members not talking back to him.
The point of that? Said guildie engineer knows the +hit scope pattern from MC. My wee Valonos bow now has +30 hit atop it’s already nice little set of stats. Seeing as my hunter isn’t going to see Kara anytime soon, I didn’t mind the 6 arcanite and 2 lava cores that went into making it. =) You know how rare it is to see lava cores these days on my server? Yeah.
On another note, myself and an RL friend who also plays a hunter, took my husband’s hunter(lvl 51) to Mauradon last night to finish some quests and get him the hunter pants that drop. Me and RL friend are both 70 hunters and both idly working on some weapon skillups.
Hubby, in his less than infinite wisdom, decides to go melee the exploding slimes. We forgot to warn him that green gas was bad. >.>
Just thought I’d share the perils of huntard melee. =)
Aeterna&Amber
wow, +30 hit scope?? I’ve never even seen that! and I can’t find it on thottbot( searchng for ’scope’)… what gives?
I hit revered with ogrila last night, so 14 days of daily quests and I’ll have the crystalspine xbow… and much like BRKs chest piece, I’ll be in a Kara PuG and get the steelhawk soon after… oh well, +28 crit scopes on both
http://wow.allakhazam.com/db/item.html?witem=18283
That was the only link I could actually find for it and I had to google it. It seems weird that wowhead nor thotbot have it.
But there ya go.
Rhust, sorry, but worst example?
Pretty much any enchant.
“Can you do Savagery?” “Yes, but you have to provide the mats.” “OK, so what are the mats?” (link) “Oh. Maybe later.”
lmao @ armsandfury
Just trying to help ya man!
But I hate it when folks pull out the dictionary on me too sometimes, I mean comon I meant to use the worng word in /g chat, sometimes I type out something phonetically trying to instill some accent or some foolishness.
@ TJ yep baby wipes work well on slugs AND snails, My Wife HATES them but that only means my kids love bringing them to her so they can hear the screams, I think my kids get that mean streak from me ;P. HOW my we ask did you get a slug on your shoe? A token of Love? A sick dare? Sleepwalking outdoors?
@ rhust
What about the Stylin Hats from LW needing Zherva Leather, funny considering it comes from only the Barrens I feel for the poor alliance that want to farm those. On a side note I am farming them for the next 10 levels, should help with mount money especially if I sell thaem at Gaz AH ;). Gotta love the sense of humor of the Blizz Devs
@kirk lol word! enchanters get f’d daily, but lately, if they have the high end enchant… they name their price… I paid 85g and tippd another 20 for the +6 stats chest enchant, 100g for savagry, only to decide I would rather have the 35 agility, and drop another 200g on that…
simple enchants my guildies have and I send them a ton of greens and they get a ton of shammie/pally drops in instances for a steady shard supply. I sometimes forget how rough other enchanters have it I guess…
yea, the zheva leather at least farms quick… hope those allies aren’t on a pvp server tho
TJ said…
I LISTENED TO BRK.
Be ye not so foolish!
For advice on Hunters, BRK is pretty good.
For advice on removing slug slime, the parent from Seattle knows ALL.
http://www.wowhead.com/?item=18283
Wowhead does have that scope it’s just that it’s called an accurascope not just scope so you have to know what to search for.
ya, I believe it’s biznicks acurascope.
cool, that’s awesome!
what does sacrosanct mean?
BRK,
Like others, I really would like to know more about why you feel scopes are not appropriate for bows…. please ?
I’ve been going through your previous blog entries, but haven’t managed to find it yet. I’m hiding my Hunter’s Permit from you till I do.
@ the scope questions
BRK said “you cannot NOT have a scope”. Meaning you must have a scope on your ranged weapon at all times…