“ZOMGBBQFTW BRK!! Talk about the dead zone!! Talk about losing the dead zone! Jeebuz pete, talk about it! Thank you, everybody.”

OK. There is one place where the loss of the dead zone will be triumphant and make our lives unbearably easier. One critical, diabolic, and freakishly hellish, deviant situation that shall be resolved for once and for all.

Yes, we’re talking about Stromgarde.

Lord Falconcrest, the heathen b@stard, is found in Stromgarde and Alliance toons have to fight in close-quarters all the way through that miserable place to defeat him. And ya can’t see, you have no room to maneuver, and ya can’t shoot sh!t. It sux and blows and to this day we loathe and revile that place.

Are there many places in Azeroth that, even as a 70, you don’t want to see again? Stromgarde, baby. No thank you.

But with the elimination of the dead zone, perhaps someday we’ll look Falconcrest up and bury his @ss a time or two. Close-quarter combat on the stairs and in those god-forsaken hallways? OK, now we’ll be ready. Stitches we’ve smacked around and made him pay for all the times he smooshed us, but Falconcrest remains unpunished.

But not for long.

“NO NO NO!! PVP!! Talk about the dead zone in PvP!”

Frankly, if people getting in your dead zone is the #1 cause of your PvP problems, you need more help than this modification. As a hunter, you’re going up against classes that either want to get in your face or don’t want to get in your face. We have tactics to deal with both. The people who want to sit in our dead zone are hoping for a bizarre set of circumstances that would prevent us from breaking crowd control measures and be unable to fire back.

Beastmasters have Bestial Wrath. Marksman have Scattershot. Survivalists have Surefooted. We all have anti-crowd control trinkets. The majority of hunters have problems in PvP arenas due to line-of-sight problems, not dead zone issues.

When we get bored and run an Alterac Valley battleground, you know what we see as the big difference between now and pre-arena tactics? We see a whole lot more cooperation on the horde defense, especially two and three-man teams roaming the alliance offense, looking for solo-artists to pick off. They are brutal, these teams.

It has gotten to the point where if we see a single horde standing at Frostwolf Graveyard daring the tip of the alliance push to attack him, we are certain that there are two or more stealthed rogues just waiting for someone to stand still. They are a marvel to watch, actually. It’s really impressive. The one thing the horde have always done better than the alliance is teamwork. The alliance has gotten better since the introduction of arenas. The horde has become amazing.

And as long as were diverging, let’s keep going. Why the heck do you hunters have problems with warlocks? They wear cloth, people. We watch our guild’s warlock class leader duel people outside of Gruul’s Lair and she creams them. over and over again. Then she says, “I guess it’s time to go get wiped out by Kitty,” and she challenges us. Splat goes she, each and every time. Snake traps, Intimidation, Bestial Wrath… warlocks are delicious.

“But, but… they just hide or stand on rocks and tree and lampposts and everywhere and DoT the unholy heck out of us! They have seventy nine DoTs on our noggin before we can fire a shot!”

Right. That’s their mojo; make the opportunity to get all their DoTs off and then hope you die before they do, or at least watch you die after they do. And if he’s underwater and you ride by and he DoTs your butt and you can’t find him and he laughes as you succumb, that’s his tactics beating you, not his power. Guile > Strength. Give him his props.

If he stands in your path and starts tossing DoTs and you send your pet with Intimidation and Bestial Wrath, or Wyvern and Aimed Shot, or Scatter and Aimed Shot, he’s gonna eat it. People adapt their tactics to their strengths. Make them fight on your terms and you stand a better chance of winning.

You want to know who we have a problem with one-on-one? Marksman hunters and paladins. Marksman hunters are obvious as they are our class’s burst-damage spec and they can do more damage in five seconds than we, can each and every time.

But there is a trick for a BM hunter to defeat a MM hunter in a duel. You’re not going to like it, and we cannot believe we’re going to tell you what it is.

Actually, we’re not. It’s too repulsive. Let’s move on.

Paladins are the worst for us to dual. Wearing plate, they mitigate so much of our damage it’s ridiculous, and of course they heal. Mana-consumption wars are what these duels are, and every paladin will confirm to you that their ability to regenerate mana is unmatched. If you try to win a dual by out-DPSing their ability to heal, you’re probably going to lose. Paladins are the cockroaches of the warcraft universe. They can survive just about anything and, although they’re unpleasant to look at, aren’t that much of a threat. Paladins don’t kill us, it’s more like they wear us out and smack us down after we cry No Mas.

When a rogue gets the jump on you and he crits and stunlocks and does 7000 damage in five seconds, you can be impressed and raise your eyebrows and applaud. When a paladin just watches you dump everything you’ve got into his armor and he just crit-heals himself for 7000 health, with his mana only decreased by 10%, it’s frustrating and disheartening.

What was the point of this post? Oh yeah, the dead zone. So anyway, the loss of the dead zone will help tremendously against the frost mages who love to Blink in, freeze your un-cooleddown-trinketed-tuckus in place, then stand in the dead zone and blast you. But for the rest of the PvP action, both in battlegrounds and arenas, don’t think this “upgrade” is a Savior that will release all the potential you’ve been denied.

As a hunter, if you stand in one place and don’t kite your enemy, you are going to die, dead zone or not.