Color Us Chastized
“Dear BRK, this is your host company. Way to chunkify our servers, thanks. You get 40 seconds of CPU time for every minute of real time, but no, that’s not good enough. Do you see your error log for today? It’s huge!
“Jebus. We’ll sell you 92 seconds of CPU time if you want, but that’s another $20 per month. The next time you get the grand idea to basically ask your readers to crash our server, please refrain. Noob.
“Loads of Love, Tech Support”
OK, so Hostmonster didn’t really call and spank us, but we did speak to their tech folks. We don’t have a lot of php scripts on our blog, but when ten million people hit refresh at the same time, it’s like we had 10 million scripts all trying to execute at the same time.
What we’ll do next time is take down all the widgits and make the front page just show one post. This should reduce the demands on the server’s CPU.
Tech Support Guru: “So, what’s your blog’s URL?”
BRK: “Bigredkitty.net”
“/snicker”
“Yeah, I just had my one millionth hit today.”
“What, one million?”
“Yeah. I get almost 7000 hits per day, not even counting RSS feeds.”
“Wow. Um, how can I help you?”
That’s right. Respect our authoritah.
Edit: An emergency Prepared Statement from the BRK Legal and Clark Bar Inspection Division. Ahem.
BRK Worldwide Amalgamated apologizes for breaking the Internet, wasting people’s time, and for injecting our rich, frothy funk… funk, really? ok, funk. For injecting our rich, frothy funk into the electronic pipes of peace-loving employees everywhere.
We apologize for running a non-approved WoW contest and not giving appropriate credit to the gentle and non-litigeous folks at Blizzard.
We apologize for promises of rewards for which we have neither budgeted nor sought approval to acquire.
We apologize to HostMonster for thrashing server Alpha-23 so badly it’s Xenon is requesting status from the International Red Cross as a prisoner of war.
And we apologize to you, our faithful if deeply disturbed cult following, for leading you down a path of wickedness and unconformity. You deserve better and the lashes of the BRK Enforcement Squad shall be applied frequently and forcefully to the chief architech of today’s higgelty-piggelty.
Yours in friendship, BRK Worldwide Amalgamated.
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18 Responses to “Color Us Chastized”
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This blog post keeps doing funny things with spacing Oo
But!
Congratulations!
Darn this uni thing calling me away to class and missing my shot.
Never run a contest like this again. Huntard blogging is serious bizznazz, and shouldn’t be stopped by cronic website refreshers.
Yeah, there was some drama…
but it sure was fun
I was close, too…1,000,003 close.
You have been slashdotted!
I run my video blog on Hostmonster and they are very helpful and reliable actually. You made a good choice going with them. Just need to get your plan in line with the volume of traffic you receive.
Grats BRK!
A nice milestone for sure in what I hope to be witness to a long and wonderful time.
Fahr & Bacon
Gz on the million BRK
[...] Color Us Chastized: “ [...]
BRK4Lifz0r!!!
BukDaMon
Mega Gratz BRK!
I was one of those “refresh” junkies…….your welcome lol!
You should totally have some sort of contest or celebration when your RSS Feed Listener count hits 1000!
Woohoo!
““Yeah, I just had my one millionth hit today.”
“What, one million?”
“Yeah. I get almost 7000 hits per day, not even counting RSS feeds.”
“Wow. Um, how can I help you?”
That’s right. Respect our authoritah.”
————————————————————–
Ok, time to change the blog name to “Big Red SHOWOFF!!!!”
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Lol @ the tech support guy. Go BRK!
BRK, I don’t know if you use this plugin or not, but there’s a nifty one out there called WP-Cache which might help alleviate any future page nuking.
http://wordpress.org/extend/plugins/wp-cache/
Here’s the description:
WP-Cache is an extremely efficient WordPress page caching system to make you site much faster and responsive. It works by caching Worpress pages and storing them in a static file for serving future requests directly from the file rather than loading and compiling the whole PHP code and the building the page from the database. WP-Cache allows to serve hundred of times more pages per second, and to reduce the response time from several tenths of seconds to less than a millisecond.
All the best!
Btw, I don’t know how many other people do this, but I RSS your blog on my Sony PSP.
Those of us stuck at work preparing for our bank holiday three day weekend, are ticked at those who page refreshed us into CPU overload purgatory.
Please visit http://forthepie.blogspot.com
To make up for your transgressions.
We have had a couple folks recommend a cache plugin, and we have installed WP Super Cache!
http://wordpress.org/extend/plugins/wp-super-cache/
http://ocaoimh.ie/wp-super-cache/
We’ll see how it goes.
WOW, congrats BRK on the milestone.
/cheer
/party
/hangover
Make your next milestone a billion hits. That was the ISP won’t have to worry about you for a while.