No, It’s Really Not Club Med
“Dear Guild, it’s 5:30pm, do you know where your mains are? SSC-rockin’ time, it’s almost here! Hustle!”
And the guild logs and relogs and grabs food and pots and ammo and buff-consumable things and whatever else they need, and boogie out to Zangarmarsh.
“Where’s the GM?”
Doop. GM and co-GM have a family emergency, they can’t make it.
“Where’s the Main Tank?”
Um, he just called. Mom-aggro. We should all chip in to get him an apartment, ’cause this stinks. OK, no Hydross tonight, just Lurker.
“Whar’s da Doom?”
Doom is apparently experiencing Technical Difficulties and presently ripping his Internet provider’s customer service deparment a few new orifaces. No hide-hide stabby-stabby tonight.
“Where’d the ‘lock just go?”
Had to split.
“Where’d the pally just go?”
No idea, he just DC’d.
“That’s it, this is ridulous. Raid cancelled.”
/awwwwww
Our 2v2 partner whispers us,
“So whatcha gonna do now?”
Play BRKTestBed and see if any horde wants to get uppity in STV.
“You know, you should do the heroic Shattered Halls quest for the Naruu title.”
We should, yes.
“Are you?”
We really don’t want to; perfectly happy at the moment and don’t want it spoiled.
“Good. I like being one of only two people in this guild who has the Naruu title.”
Dirty. You play dirty, Bela.
“giggle”
OK, let’s do it.
BM hunter, feral druid tank, Bela respec’d to holy, the Diet Coke of Evil brought her gnomish mage, and a very competent warlock - one of our new guildies from the recruitment drive - went to Hellfire to enjoy the pleasure that is heroic Shattered Halls. Frankly, it’s like a vacation. Club Med in Hellfire. Just a fricken’ joy.
/sarcasm off
The tank says, “I’m gonna pull until you yell at me to stop, OK?”
Pull, pull, pull, pull, pull, pull, pull, pull, pull, pull.
JEEBUZ WAIT A SEC!
/pant
“BRK, you wanna trap one of these?”
No. Not in the least. You’ve got 40% dodge and 75% damage-mitigation, tank ‘em all, sweetie, that’s why we wanted you; the best feral druid tank in the guild.
/wipe
OK, fine. we’ll trap one.
/clear to the sewer
“I hate the sewer, guys.” says our tank.
Just tank the big one, hard. Hobbes and I will kill that while the AoE kills the little ones.
/destroy heroic sewer
“Wow, that was pretty easy.”
(Heroic Sewers, coming in Patch 2.5! You heard it here first.)
First boss down, start the gauntlet of fire.
Pull. Wait. Pull. Wait. Pull.
/wipe
Just blast through ‘em; tank that sh!t.
Pull, pull, pull, pull, pull, pull, pull.
As soon as you see the mini-boss, pull him!
“OK!”
Mini-boss pull, dead adds, dead mini-boss.
Nice.
“Can we Misdirect-pull those 5 and 6-mob pulls down the center of the hallway and into this room?”
Pfft. Piece of cake. Tank that sh!t and we’ll nuke ‘em.
MD pull, focus-fire, down they go. Nice tankin’. Rinse and repeat.
Stay in the center, stay in the center, stay in the center. We made it yay!
Wait for Flares!
/flare
There he is, kill that f-ing rogue!
Dead orc-rogue.
“OK, when we clear these last two, I’m going straight for the second boss, OK?”
Just tank it. Hold it. Don’t let it near us. He aggro-wipes, so be ready.
Tank, tank, tank. Aggro wipe, MD, tank tank tank.
Grabbed aggro! Feign Death! Uh oh, FD resisted!
/dead hunter
/dead warlock
And our arena partner, now repsec’d Holy priest, helps the DCoE by wanding that boss down while she heals the tank. Bela is a better WoW-player than we are, it’s now confirmed.
/rez
And we lag-spike. /fury!
And we’re back! Wait for Flare!
int rogueCount = 0;
do {
/flare;
There he is! Kill the rogue!;
rogueCount++;
} while (rogueCount <= 3 );
We made it!
What’s the time left?
“Don’t know; the timer breaks when a party wipes.”
We could’ve come this entire way for nothing, that’s what you’re telling us.
“Yup!”
/hatred
How are we doing this boss?
Who’s got adds?
Hello?
Oh we get it, nobody on adds, just fear ‘em. Oh we like this!
/MQoSRDPS!!
And he’s down! We won! We did the quest!
“Not quite.”
/puzzled
“Gotta kill this last guy, then the quest is completed.”
Oh.
/kill last guy
And he’s down! We won! We did the quest!
“Need-roll on the Nether”
/lose Need-roll. Again. 0-7 with her in our party. We call hax!
Pass on shards, we just want the h3ll outta here.
Never. Again.
