Even Better Than The Real Thing
By now you’ve probably read about the disclosed modifications for Alterac Valley in Patch 2.4. But as usual, Blizz keeps a large number of these thing secret until a patch is deployed.
Never fear! The BRK Drywall and WoW Patch-Crackin’ Team has absconded with the patch beta by dumping large piles of Hostess Ho-Hos in the Blizz cafeteria after having injecting them with a combination of Red Bull and prune juice.
What can we report?
The BRK Top Ten Secret Changes to AV in Patch 2.4
10. Gnomish engineers can make a [Babblefish Trinket]. This puppy allows the user to read, comprehend, and speak into the other faction’s battleground-chat.
“Alliance turtling! Send everybody to Stonehearth and grab the rams!”
“Dude, WTF?”
“NO! STOP! Fishing! There’s explosive fish we can chuck at Belinda! Everybody fish now!”
“FISH!?! Who the F**K are you!”
/snigger
9. Summoning Ivus the Forest Lord gives 1000 bonus honor and an Ivus Buff that increases all damage delivered by 20% and reduces all damage received by 20%. If Ivus is alive at the end of an AV, all Alliance toons get an, “I <3 ItFL” tabbard; the coolest tabbard in the game, (which, unfortunately, isn’t saying much.)
8. The harpies become their own faction. All female players can chose to fight for them instead of the dwarfs or orcs, but guys can only dream what really goes on in that cave now.
7. Flying-Mount Combat! /squee! (No, not really. But see how much you want it?)
6. A neutral inn has been placed at the top of Snowfall. If you’re gonna go AFK, at least you can have a good time doing it.
5. But beware, the AFK-Debuff is now a Hack My Account flag that alerts account-hackers as to who really needs their special attention.
4. General Stormpike goes full Ret Pally! The Alliance is still not sure if this is good or not, and kinda looks at the guy funny now.
3. The secret Toboggan Run from Snowfall to Frostwolf is finally revealed. It’s like Magic Mountain, but with drunk dwarfs manning the controls.
2. Blood Elf females are hereby banned from AV as they don’t have enough meat on their bones to deal with the cold. Someone get those chicks a sandwich, would you please?
1. Turn-ins, rams, and wolves have been eliminated ’cause nobody does AV right anymore. When was the last time you saw an aerial bombardment, anyway. /sulk
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18 Responses to “Even Better Than The Real Thing”
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Believe it or not, but I was in an AV over the weekend where the alliance actually summoned a Griffon to come bomb us. We killed it and won the game anyway, but it was the first one I’ve ever seen in an AV.
I’ve done a few QD premades in the Emberstorm battlegroup where I helped summon the wolf riders and finished each of the commander quests, in addition we summoned the big guy, can’t remember his name, Lok, maybe?
We still won by a lot. Actually we had to rush to get it done before Alliance ran out of reinforcements.
Not sure I like the changes disclosed. I wish they would lower the range on the archers on both sides and fix it so the alliance had to come through the pathway.
How much more has to be done to hand AV to the Alliance on a silver platter? Never has so much whining, gotten so much for it.
As a Horde Tauren Hunter, I’d like to see Blizz put a Starbucks down in the deep valley below Stormpike….figuring at least 75% of the alliance would stop there for 15 minutes or so. We need every edge we can get.
Speaking of people whining about AV…Isn’t it funny how horde QQing about supposed “Alliance advantage” in AV is so legendary that Blizzard even makes fun of it?
Go race Ichman or Mulverick on Netherwing Ledge. Actually read the quest text:
Ichman: “Three years I spent in that hell hole. Three years a prisoner of war to the damnable Frostwolf Clan. Made to sit in their tower and listen to them endlessly whine about the bridge to Dun Baldar. About how it’s “unfair” that blah, blah, blah, blah… War isn’t fair! To hell with ‘em all!”
Mulv: “Three years of blood, sweat and tears. Mostly tears… The amount of crying that a hardened soldier does when it comes down to all-out war is amazing!
“They’re jumping into our tower with their horses!” “Why is their base so well defended?” “They’re taking our relief hut, I’m going A.W.O.L.!” Wimps…”
Guess what…there is no significant advantage to one side or another in AV. Yes, Alliance has the bridge. Horde starts closer to their first objective. The brige may be easier to defend, but with the graveyard within line of sight of the bridge any significant Horde force that holds the graveyard can rez and put pressure on the alliance faster than the alliance can run back to the bridge. Etc, etc, ad nauseum.
So yeah, there are whiners, there always are. Your post has proven that nicely.
ROFL, god your good! I was laughing with tears coming out of my eyes in my cube and everyone around me want to know what was so funny. Told them that you have to be there to understand. Been doing AV since it first started with the dang 18 hour BG (yes 18 hrs for one BG) on Eonar. My has it now been nerfed since the creation of the Battlegroups it make it go faster. I hope the new secret do happening, maybe for the best. I would love to take the toboggen run straight to the RH and take the hut FTW.
lol
Fio, you might have a point, but the fact is that most of us usually get grouped with a bunch of idiots. By now the alliance needs to know that the way for them to win is to take IBGY and leave a small force to defend SPGY and their relief hut (the terrain does help with this, they can easily defend the flag and prevent horde from running over the bridge to take RH).
By the same token, Horde needs to realize that they can win every time if they simply defend the IB choke point, take the mines and a couple allie towers. It’s a pseudo turtle strategy that works, but getting most PvP tards to recognize this and do it is another matter.
The terrain and layout has effectively forced the alliance into zerging and the horde into playing harsh, heartless D.
“The terrain and layout has effectively forced the alliance into zerging and the horde into playing harsh, heartless D.”
And which tactic do random, PUG morons go for?
How sad it is that the BG that would benefit most from alowing premades doesn’t allow them.
I sent these to a friend and fellow WoWer and his exact reply was…
“Dude, I can’t wait for this patch to hit. AV will be so much better with Flying Combat.”
Um…… Yeah…… Uh……. Anyway…
“…most of us usually get grouped with a bunch of idiots”
“…getting most PvP tards to recognize this and do it is another matter”
“And which tactic do random, PUG morons go for?”
If you ask me it’s condescending, know-it-all, holier-than-thou arrogance that ruins Battlegrounds.
“If you ask me it’s condescending, know-it-all, holier-than-thou arrogance that ruins Battlegrounds.”
Second that.
Save the victim routine. It’s calling a spade a spade.
The fact is that many people, myself included, are trying to win to farm honor and rather than singlemindedly just try to hk and zerg on the generals. We have played enough AV to recognize how to win.
The moment you even nicely try to request setting up some D at IBGY, you get met with viciousness the likes of which I don’t see anywhere else on WoW. I got tired of trying to play nice so I call them like I see them.
I’m looking forward to WotLK and its world PvP zones for those that mindlessly want to battle without end.
To put it into a PvE perspective, imagine going into a raid with a typical BG resident. They’d “LEEEEERRROOOOY JEEEEENKINS!!” your group into a wipe every time.
To tell the truth, I kinda miss the old AV… And with the new changes to honor diminishing returns… well I might even more.
I remember playing in AV a Sat night, went back and forth, tons of turn ins, never anybody making serious progress past SF either way (though it did change hands).
After about an hour or two of it I AFKed out and logged.
The next day, I came back to the SAME AV. Some of those fools were still in there from the previous night… awesome (we eventually won I think)
I’d seriously like to see Ivus/Loc/Riders and Aerial Bombardments be able to shift the tide again, perhaps make them all easier to summon. Have: turtle->summon a valid strategy… perhaps increase the reinforcement limit as it would give another valid option for quick games.
This would help the horde out more as they have a better turtle position at IB and Lok is better… but if Ivus and Lok were tuned for it, it would be pretty cool. (In a true turtle scenario, the horde have the advantage at both the major chokepoints out of the Field of Strife, while the Alliance have the advantage of the DB bridge and easier assault on FW GY)
@Pyrius
“Save the victim routine. It’s calling a spade a spade.”
Because someone doesn’t bow to your will, does not mean they are idiots or retarded. Although you might have known everything there is to know from the day you were born, the rest of the world learns through experience. No matter how smart you think you are there is always someone smarter. A loss is a loss; blaming and insulting other people’s intelligence only serves to demoralize them and insure defeat. Try adjusting your attitude and being more motivational; there’s more than one kind of honor to be earned.
@Pyrius on 05 Feb 2008 at 3:38 pm #
“Save the victim routine. It’s calling a spade a spade.”
Victim routine? What are you on about?
“The fact is that many people, myself included, are trying to win to farm honor and rather than singlemindedly just try to hk and zerg on the generals. We have played enough AV to recognize how to win.”
So everybody must immediately recognize that you are a strategic mastermind and bow to your will?
“The moment you even nicely try to request setting up some D at IBGY, you get met with viciousness the likes of which I don’t see anywhere else on WoW.”
Exaggerate much?
“I got tired of trying to play nice so I call them like I see them.”
Idiots and retards? Because they don’t play the way YOU want? There’s always that one guy in a Battleground that knows everything and everyone else is a moron. If you have to TRY to be nice and it became tiresome; you might be that guy.
I think you should worry a little bit less about AV honor and try farming up some RL honor.
I actually saw the Alliance call down the bombers a week or so ago on Emberstorm. That was the same day we summoned the druids (who proceeded to kick all kinds of Horde ass). I like it when people do that kind of thing.
Personally, if it’s a turtle, I’m turning in armor scraps and storm crystals, taming rams and making supply runs.
And finally, I chuckle at the AV changes. Big deal. 10 seconds means Horde and Alliance meet on the Field of Strife if they both zerg. More PvP, more HKs, AV is over more quickly. I hear lots of people talking about map imbalance favoring the Alliance. You want imbalance?
IBGY, TP, IBT/Galv. Right there. Put a determined Horde defense there and eradicate all hope for an Alliance victory. You get to grind them down, farming HKs and honor at once. You’ll never see Vann again. Hells, you may never see Balinda again. You don’ need to.
Everyone should just accept that there are strengths and weaknesses to both sides and move on. Adapt and overcome, as they taught me in the Navy. Adapt and overcome.
“If you ask me it’s condescending, know-it-all, holier-than-thou arrogance that ruins Battlegrounds.”
I concur, if (or rather when) I let it get to me.
“Everyone should just accept that there are strengths and weaknesses to both sides and move on. Adapt and overcome, as they taught me in the Navy. Adapt and overcome.”
Same…except Go Army, Beat Navy
I have one problem with AV and its been around for 3 damn years, its not the bridge or anything like that its the NPCs in the horde base. For 3 years the alliance has been able to ride past them and get no aggro while the horde has to kill the alliance npc EVERYTIME we want to take the aid station. That drives me nuts, when one person can ride in and not get touched then grab the “guards” at our aid station and kill them all then take the flag that needs to be fixed.