BREAKING NEWS: BRKWWA HOSTILE TAKE OVER. BRK NOT FOUND FOR COMMENT.
WASHINGTON, DC and ORLANDO - BRKWWA was rocked to the foundations today by the sudden ousting of its extremely visbible and extremely vocal figurehead - on this, his birthday, of all days.
“Honestly,” the BRK EA, TJ, said at an early morning press conference, “this has been coming for quite some time now. It’s been extremely difficult to keep plans under wraps, but today, with all the pieces in place, we are proud to detail to you the new direction that BRKWWA will be taking in the future.”
The conference was held in BRKWWA headquarters, in front of the doors to the executive suite of offices, which TJ was seen leaning her head towards occasionally, seemingly for clairification before carefully and with considered measure answering the questions of assembled reporters. While the doors were never opened, we can only surmise that inside was the other half of the masterminding behind this sudden coup-staging, and sources lead to the strong belief that the mysterious counterpart behind the door is one known only as Mrs. BRK.
“Really,” TJ continued, “has it ever actually been a mystery who the driving forces behind this endeavor were? The time has come to step out from behind the curtain and take over the steering of this company into the future. My partner and I,” she said, nodding slightly towards the closed doors, “realize that this may come as somewhat of a shock. Actually, as I said earlier, this has been in the works for quite some time, and we hope that our efforts will not be seen as cloak and dagger machinations. Truly, with BRK’s somewhat… illadvised… attempts at a WoWHead takeover — Well, you can see that it was time for some fresh blood to step into the light here. Be prepared to see some new and exciting things coming from BRKWWA in the future - we have plans, big plans.” A soft, somewhat menancing chuckle was heard from behind the closed doors at this point.
After concluding her prepared statement, TJ took very few questions from the ever-growing crowd of reporters before sliding quickly between the doors behind her, ending the conference.
Q: What do you mean by “new direction?”
A: We have plans. Big plans. I’m not at liberty to reveal too much right now, but I can tell you two things. First of all, hunters are played out. Played. Out. Secondly, I think I can get away with announcing that going forward, BRKWWA will now be known as The Mrs & The Ponytail, Inc.
Q: Any significance to doing this on BRK’s birthday?
A: Where the [expletive deleted] did you go to [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted] journalism school? Do they still teach basic investigative reporting, or were you sick that day? The man is [expletive deleted] OLD. He’s OLD. He’s like 40 or 50 or something. I don’t know how they did business back in 19-diggety-2, when he was at his peak, but times have CHANGED. Out with the doddering old fo– er. Ahem. You know, new year, new beginnings.
Q: What are BRK’s plans, going forward? What about Hobbes?
A: BR who? Oh. Oh, BRK. Oh, I don’t know. Gardening, maybe? What do old people do, anyway? Whatever. We’ll probably some give him some office in the basement, maybe some pretty colored file folders and papers to shuffle around. Maybe a big rubber stamp of some sort. I don’t know, whatever keeps him busy and out of our goregeous hair. Oh, and Hobbes? We’ve found him a nice… farm. A farm, where he can run free and play forever. NO MORE QUESTIONS.
Though the conference ended rather abruptly, with many questions left unanswered, famous stealth journalist and gossip columnist Doomilias claims to have overheard Mrs. BRK in a back alley conversation early this morning.
“I’m pretty sure it was her. The long white purple striped fur coat was a dead giveaway. She had really big, dark sunglasses and was puffing on a thin cigarette with one of those trendy new tungsten cigarette holders. I couldn’t make out who she was talking to, but she sounded pretty determined. Going on and on about how BRK is starting to slip in his old age. Apparently he’s been roaming their backyard carrying one of those Nerf Bow’n'Arrows, wearing nothing but a level 62 Loincloth of the Gorilla and muttering ‘massssssive quantities of sustained ranged dps. Dps. Dee. Pee. Ess! It’s so pretty my DPS!’.”
Happy birthday, BRK.
<3, Mrs. BRK, TJ and special guest beat reporter Doomilias.
Comments
83 Responses to “BREAKING NEWS: BRKWWA HOSTILE TAKE OVER. BRK NOT FOUND FOR COMMENT.”




Happy B’day BRK and….
… wtf was all that?!
Happy [expletive deleted] birthday, BRK!
Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday BRK!
(and you were royally pwned! Obviously need more resilience gear…)
Umm.. yeah.. I guess your not going to be playing tonight..
And since you are close to retirement age.. I plan on launching my own hostile takeover of the BRK_toons division.
Hah! Ha-hah!
Is many happy birthdifications to ya!
Happy B’Day!!!
Hippo Birdy Day BRK!
PWND
Happy birthday BRK.
So… no more daytime posts with TJ losing access?
Nerf Bow-n-arrows! Great stuff guys!
And Happy Birthday BRK
i have to leave your site, i’m sorry, my coworkers are staring because of the uncontrollable giggling.
Happy Bday Hunter guru, and nice post TJ =P
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday BRK !!
Yeah!! Happy B-Day!! Hope your day is filled with all the best drops.
Happy Birthday
Combat Log Tab reads:
Mrs. BRK casts misdirects on TJ.
Mrs. BRK steady shot crits you for big lols.
You die happy!
Happy Birthday Buddy
“Bartender! Another Dark Dwarven Lager for my fellow dwarf hunter!” (puts arm around BRK’s shoulder drunkenly)
“My friend, I think you need to stop telling the joke about how you like your beer and women. I think the missus and the ponytail are taking exception”
“Oh, and joyful centennial anniversary!”
Happy Birthday BRK! May your lootz shine brighter then eva today!
/use Rumsey Rum Dark Label
/use Halaani Whiskey
/dance
Happy Birthday to you and The Mrs. & The Ponytail, Inc.
^_^
Happy Birthday BRK.
I guess it was the Felbangz of TJ that finally took him down.
Happy Birthday! Enjoy the BRKake and the massive quantities of sustained ranged chocolate frosting. <3
(P.S. I promise I’ve been trying to pop onto Drenden to say hi. But my schedule is rather annoying lately; and I keep getting online when either you are offline, or you are mid-raid. I’ll keep trying! /salute)
Happy birthday!
…you geezer.
Happy Birthday BRK. May it be Big, Red, and Kitty-ish.
HAHAHAHahahahaha……
I mean Hahahappy Birthday, yah, that is what I meant…
Happy birthday BRK!
Happy B-day you old tracker…
Happy BRK-Day!
Hippo Birdy Two Ewes!
Happy Birthday sir!
/salute
So THATs what MQoSRDPS stands for…
Happy BDay! RECENT NEWS!
MRACGWWI Have Publicly Stated Their Partnership with BRKWWA
Mastaranga states “This takeover has been scheduled for over 3 months, we know all about it, If you have any questions please relay them to Casper G”
“Casper G, Do you feel that you are ownage and shouldn’t be allying yourself with the noobs in BRKWWA?
“Casper G: Roar”
“I see, well I’m gonna run from you now..”
Mastaranga was not available for further comments.
Happy bday once again
Happy birthday!
Hey! Happy B-day dude!
Enjoy the Happiness Buff from the Chocolate Cake!
Funny Post BTW!
Vik & Kaylee
Well well well..
Happy B-day BRK.
Happy Birthday !!!
happy birthday! (hopes TJ decides to hire “escorts” to show her power over the world)
Happy Birthday, BRK!
Are. Oh. Eff. Ell. XD
Happy Birthday, BRK! And don’t worry about the fur suit - Hobbes is hiding safely in the stable!
However, Winterspring is now short one more kitty…
(Now THAT is a good post for Maintenance Day!)
Happy Birthday!
Hope you get to shoot something good =)
So your another year older and wiser, huh? I still say Hobbs is smarter than you =P
Happy Birthday ya old coot!
Ahrtu & Amnot
Bwhahahahha
oh my … /wipes away tears
Can’t quite get the image of BRK with a nerf bow/arrow and a level 62 loincloth
oh my….
happiest of birthdays
Since my birthday is tomorrow Happy Birthday to US!
Have a great day!
First and foremost: That’s a hilarious post. Secondly, as I’m sure you’ve seen a crapload of times before me:
Happy Birthaday BRK!! Hope you have a great year and all that jazz.
Good Hunting,
Tox
Happy birthday BRK! Thanks for all the wonderful advice on the site!
Happy Birthday BRK. I hope SSC doesn’t give you your birthday whipping! Keep up the great site.
-Nar
Happy Birthday!
Cheers
Happy Birthday BRK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Happy Birthday BRK!
Happy Birthday Amigo. This makes you what, 25 years old now? Thought so. Have a good one.
HAHA, too funny!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRK!
“It’s so pretty my DPS.”
I lol’d.
I lol’d hard.
Happy birthday BRK!
Thanks mrs BRK for putting up with him
Happy B-day, and many to follow =)
Happy Birthday Guru of all that is Hunter.
Happy Birthday to the Hunter Lord.
GRATZ on another year, keep up the good work.
Storin & Rufus
HAPPEE BIRFDAY, YO!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Here’s to another fun trip around the sun. Happy b-day, bud.
Happy Birthday!
New direction? Hmmm, Big Blue Warlock Blog?
Happy Birthday BRK! Hobbes can’t have chocolate, but maybe he can help unwrap presents?
When you woke up this moring did you say “Ding” Leveled!
Happy Birthday!
HBDTY
My pretty … my pretty dps … my pretty MQoSRdps
My best to TJ and Mrs. BRK
Happy Birthday!!!!!
Happy birthday BRK!
HAPPY B-DAY!
Hopefully you had a very good day, but hey, i heard some rumors of the average age for retirement going up a lot?
Ah well! Keep on going with this site, and keep on making noobsauce huntards some good hunters!
Thanks loads for all the work you’ve put in, and keep up the work!
Happy Birthday!
Are you going to now learn to eat your Brussels sprouts? =P
Happy birthday!
no way! its my birthday too! this is the best day ever! i feel old and im only 23 *wink*
Happy Birthday, young man! (I can say that, because I am old!
Nerf Bow…appropriate. Either that, or a much slower gun…the arthritis, ya know…takes longer to pull the trigger.
Whoa, I share birthdays with BRK? Awesome
-Melf & Ebbe
Hooray! Happy Birthday BRK!
Happy Birthday! =)
These little BRKWA snips have some bearing on reality in conjunction with the current Microsuck, Yahoo news stories, but for the life of me, I cannot find any information to confirm or deny this one.
If anyone has a link to the real story, I’d really love it =) thanks!
O yea, and Happy B-day BRK! =D
Aww, happy belated birthday!
[...] BRK: His birthday was yesterday, and me & Mrs. BRK are awesome. [...]
i agree with TJ…
-BRK you need to now take all admin right from TJ and the Wife…
BTW - belated happy happy Birthday
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