BREAKING NEWS: BRKWWA HOSTILE TAKE OVER. BRK NOT FOUND FOR COMMENT.

TJ » 18 March 2008 » In Blog » 83 Comments

WASHINGTON, DC and ORLANDO – BRKWWA was rocked to the foundations today by the sudden ousting of its extremely visbible and extremely vocal figurehead – on this, his birthday, of all days.

“Honestly,” the BRK EA, TJ, said at an early morning press conference, “this has been coming for quite some time now. It’s been extremely difficult to keep plans under wraps, but today, with all the pieces in place, we are proud to detail to you the new direction that BRKWWA will be taking in the future.”

The conference was held in BRKWWA headquarters, in front of the doors to the executive suite of offices, which TJ was seen leaning her head towards occasionally, seemingly for clairification before carefully and with considered measure answering the questions of assembled reporters. While the doors were never opened, we can only surmise that inside was the other half of the masterminding behind this sudden coup-staging, and sources lead to the strong belief that the mysterious counterpart behind the door is one known only as Mrs. BRK.

“Really,” TJ continued, “has it ever actually been a mystery who the driving forces behind this endeavor were? The time has come to step out from behind the curtain and take over the steering of this company into the future. My partner and I,” she said, nodding slightly towards the closed doors, “realize that this may come as somewhat of a shock. Actually, as I said earlier, this has been in the works for quite some time, and we hope that our efforts will not be seen as cloak and dagger machinations. Truly, with BRK’s somewhat… illadvised… attempts at a WoWHead takeover — Well, you can see that it was time for some fresh blood to step into the light here. Be prepared to see some new and exciting things coming from BRKWWA in the future – we have plans, big plans.” A soft, somewhat menancing chuckle was heard from behind the closed doors at this point.

After concluding her prepared statement, TJ took very few questions from the ever-growing crowd of reporters before sliding quickly between the doors behind her, ending the conference.

Q: What do you mean by “new direction?”

A: We have plans. Big plans. I’m not at liberty to reveal too much right now, but I can tell you two things. First of all, hunters are played out. Played. Out. Secondly, I think I can get away with announcing that going forward, BRKWWA will now be known as The Mrs & The Ponytail, Inc.

Q: Any significance to doing this on BRK’s birthday?

A: Where the [expletive deleted] did you go to [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted] journalism school? Do they still teach basic investigative reporting, or were you sick that day? The man is [expletive deleted] OLD. He’s OLD. He’s like 40 or 50 or something. I don’t know how they did business back in 19-diggety-2, when he was at his peak, but times have CHANGED. Out with the doddering old fo– er. Ahem. You know, new year, new beginnings.

Q: What are BRK’s plans, going forward? What about Hobbes?

A: BR who? Oh. Oh, BRK. Oh, I don’t know. Gardening, maybe? What do old people do, anyway? Whatever. We’ll probably some give him some office in the basement, maybe some pretty colored file folders and papers to shuffle around. Maybe a big rubber stamp of some sort. I don’t know, whatever keeps him busy and out of our goregeous hair. Oh, and Hobbes? We’ve found him a nice… farm. A farm, where he can run free and play forever. NO MORE QUESTIONS.

Though the conference ended rather abruptly, with many questions left unanswered, famous stealth journalist and gossip columnist Doomilias claims to have overheard Mrs. BRK in a back alley conversation early this morning.

“I’m pretty sure it was her. The long white purple striped fur coat was a dead giveaway. She had really big, dark sunglasses and was puffing on a thin cigarette with one of those trendy new tungsten cigarette holders. I couldn’t make out who she was talking to, but she sounded pretty determined. Going on and on about how BRK is starting to slip in his old age. Apparently he’s been roaming their backyard carrying one of those Nerf Bow’n'Arrows, wearing nothing but a level 62 Loincloth of the Gorilla and muttering ‘massssssive quantities of sustained ranged dps. Dps. Dee. Pee. Ess! It’s so pretty my DPS!’.”

Happy birthday, BRK.

<3, Mrs. BRK, TJ and special guest beat reporter Doomilias.

Blog | March 18, 2008

Comments

83 Responses to “BREAKING NEWS: BRKWWA HOSTILE TAKE OVER. BRK NOT FOUND FOR COMMENT.”

  1. Heffer on March 18th, 2008 9:36 am

    Happy B’day BRK and….

    … wtf was all that?!

  2. Zarei on March 18th, 2008 9:44 am

    Happy [expletive deleted] birthday, BRK! :D

  3. Guy on March 18th, 2008 9:45 am

    Happy Birthday!

  4. Vronak on March 18th, 2008 9:46 am

    Happy Birthday BRK!

    (and you were royally pwned! Obviously need more resilience gear…)

  5. Master on March 18th, 2008 9:49 am

    Umm.. yeah.. I guess your not going to be playing tonight..

    And since you are close to retirement age.. I plan on launching my own hostile takeover of the BRK_toons division.

  6. Ratshag on March 18th, 2008 9:55 am

    Hah! Ha-hah!

    Is many happy birthdifications to ya!

  7. Hexshot on March 18th, 2008 9:55 am

    Happy B’Day!!!

  8. BlueTiger on March 18th, 2008 9:56 am

    Hippo Birdy Day BRK!

  9. Canth on March 18th, 2008 9:57 am

    PWND

    Happy birthday BRK.

    So… no more daytime posts with TJ losing access? ;)

  10. Patyn on March 18th, 2008 10:00 am

    Nerf Bow-n-arrows! Great stuff guys!

    And Happy Birthday BRK :)

  11. Nick on March 18th, 2008 10:01 am

    i have to leave your site, i’m sorry, my coworkers are staring because of the uncontrollable giggling.

  12. Wtigerz on March 18th, 2008 10:03 am

    Happy Bday Hunter guru, and nice post TJ =P

  13. Dune on March 18th, 2008 10:03 am

    Happy Birthday :D

  14. shake on March 18th, 2008 10:07 am

    Happy Birthday BRK !!

  15. Fahr & Bacon on March 18th, 2008 10:14 am

    Yeah!! Happy B-Day!! Hope your day is filled with all the best drops.

    :-)

  16. karyss on March 18th, 2008 10:14 am

    Happy Birthday

    Combat Log Tab reads:

    Mrs. BRK casts misdirects on TJ.
    Mrs. BRK steady shot crits you for big lols.

    You die happy!

  17. BNM on March 18th, 2008 10:14 am

    Happy Birthday Buddy :)

  18. Boffors on March 18th, 2008 10:20 am

    “Bartender! Another Dark Dwarven Lager for my fellow dwarf hunter!” (puts arm around BRK’s shoulder drunkenly)
    “My friend, I think you need to stop telling the joke about how you like your beer and women. I think the missus and the ponytail are taking exception”
    “Oh, and joyful centennial anniversary!”

  19. Sephran on March 18th, 2008 10:22 am

    Happy Birthday BRK! May your lootz shine brighter then eva today!

  20. Val on March 18th, 2008 10:29 am

    /use Rumsey Rum Dark Label
    /use Halaani Whiskey
    /dance

    Happy Birthday to you and The Mrs. & The Ponytail, Inc.
    ^_^

  21. Sonvar on March 18th, 2008 10:37 am

    Happy Birthday BRK.

    I guess it was the Felbangz of TJ that finally took him down.

  22. Pike on March 18th, 2008 10:37 am

    Happy Birthday! Enjoy the BRKake and the massive quantities of sustained ranged chocolate frosting. <3

    (P.S. I promise I’ve been trying to pop onto Drenden to say hi. But my schedule is rather annoying lately; and I keep getting online when either you are offline, or you are mid-raid. I’ll keep trying! /salute)

  23. Trackhoof on March 18th, 2008 10:37 am

    Happy birthday!

    …you geezer. :P

  24. Rem on March 18th, 2008 10:44 am

    Happy Birthday BRK. May it be Big, Red, and Kitty-ish.

  25. kunukia on March 18th, 2008 10:45 am

    HAHAHAHahahahaha……
    I mean Hahahappy Birthday, yah, that is what I meant…

  26. Aprilmoon on March 18th, 2008 10:48 am

    Happy birthday BRK!

  27. Bravehawk on March 18th, 2008 10:58 am

    Happy B-day you old tracker…

  28. aaranay on March 18th, 2008 11:00 am

    Happy BRK-Day! :)

  29. GHOSTKID on March 18th, 2008 11:03 am

    Hippo Birdy Two Ewes!

  30. Skarlarth on March 18th, 2008 11:06 am

    Happy Birthday sir!

    /salute

  31. dorgol on March 18th, 2008 11:08 am

    So THATs what MQoSRDPS stands for…

  32. Masranga and Casper G on March 18th, 2008 11:21 am

    Happy BDay! RECENT NEWS!

    MRACGWWI Have Publicly Stated Their Partnership with BRKWWA

    Mastaranga states “This takeover has been scheduled for over 3 months, we know all about it, If you have any questions please relay them to Casper G”

    “Casper G, Do you feel that you are ownage and shouldn’t be allying yourself with the noobs in BRKWWA?

    “Casper G: Roar”

    “I see, well I’m gonna run from you now..”

    Mastaranga was not available for further comments.

    Happy bday once again :)

  33. Agador on March 18th, 2008 11:26 am

    Happy birthday!

  34. Viktel on March 18th, 2008 11:30 am

    Hey! Happy B-day dude!

    Enjoy the Happiness Buff from the Chocolate Cake!

    Funny Post BTW!

    Vik & Kaylee

  35. For the Pie on March 18th, 2008 11:41 am

    Well well well..

    Happy B-day BRK.

  36. Umbrosus on March 18th, 2008 11:47 am

    Happy Birthday !!!

  37. runedaegun on March 18th, 2008 11:48 am

    happy birthday! (hopes TJ decides to hire “escorts” to show her power over the world)

  38. Andy C. on March 18th, 2008 12:08 pm

    Happy Birthday, BRK!

  39. Xanthelei on March 18th, 2008 12:09 pm

    Are. Oh. Eff. Ell. XD

    Happy Birthday, BRK! And don’t worry about the fur suit – Hobbes is hiding safely in the stable!

    However, Winterspring is now short one more kitty…

    (Now THAT is a good post for Maintenance Day!)

  40. Stupid Mage on March 18th, 2008 12:13 pm

    Happy Birthday!

    Hope you get to shoot something good =)

  41. Ahrtu on March 18th, 2008 12:25 pm

    So your another year older and wiser, huh? I still say Hobbs is smarter than you =P

    Happy Birthday ya old coot!

    Ahrtu & Amnot

  42. Rabbit on March 18th, 2008 12:32 pm

    Bwhahahahha

    oh my … /wipes away tears

    Can’t quite get the image of BRK with a nerf bow/arrow and a level 62 loincloth

    oh my….

    happiest of birthdays

  43. Londo on March 18th, 2008 12:35 pm

    Since my birthday is tomorrow Happy Birthday to US! :)

    Have a great day!

  44. Tox on March 18th, 2008 12:42 pm

    First and foremost: That’s a hilarious post. Secondly, as I’m sure you’ve seen a crapload of times before me:

    Happy Birthaday BRK!! Hope you have a great year and all that jazz.

    Good Hunting,
    Tox

  45. Stonespire and Fluffy on March 18th, 2008 12:53 pm

    Happy birthday BRK! Thanks for all the wonderful advice on the site!

  46. Narian on March 18th, 2008 12:58 pm

    Happy Birthday BRK. I hope SSC doesn’t give you your birthday whipping! Keep up the great site.

    -Nar

  47. Laurianiar on March 18th, 2008 1:09 pm

    Happy Birthday!

    Cheers

  48. Althoran on March 18th, 2008 1:10 pm

    Happy Birthday BRK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  49. Pablo on March 18th, 2008 1:17 pm

    Happy Birthday BRK!

  50. Curtiss on March 18th, 2008 1:20 pm

    Happy Birthday Amigo. This makes you what, 25 years old now? Thought so. Have a good one.

  51. Gortix on March 18th, 2008 1:26 pm

    HAHA, too funny!

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRK!

  52. Anonymous on March 18th, 2008 1:30 pm

    “It’s so pretty my DPS.”
    I lol’d.
    I lol’d hard.

  53. Chromaoran on March 18th, 2008 1:31 pm

    Happy birthday BRK!
    Thanks mrs BRK for putting up with him :D

  54. Decado on March 18th, 2008 1:31 pm

    Happy B-day, and many to follow =)

  55. Kestrus on March 18th, 2008 1:35 pm

    Happy Birthday Guru of all that is Hunter.

  56. Galoheart on March 18th, 2008 1:56 pm

    Happy Birthday to the Hunter Lord.

  57. BaldBilly on March 18th, 2008 2:08 pm

    GRATZ on another year, keep up the good work.

    Storin & Rufus

  58. Messyah on March 18th, 2008 2:20 pm

    HAPPEE BIRFDAY, YO!

  59. Merckx on March 18th, 2008 2:22 pm

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  60. Arrens on March 18th, 2008 2:59 pm

    Here’s to another fun trip around the sun. Happy b-day, bud.

  61. Lar on March 18th, 2008 3:18 pm

    Happy Birthday!

    New direction? Hmmm, Big Blue Warlock Blog?

  62. Michaela on March 18th, 2008 3:32 pm

    Happy Birthday BRK! Hobbes can’t have chocolate, but maybe he can help unwrap presents? :)

  63. Curbob on March 18th, 2008 4:05 pm

    When you woke up this moring did you say “Ding” Leveled!

  64. KaptK on March 18th, 2008 4:10 pm

    Happy Birthday!

  65. mudge on March 18th, 2008 4:24 pm

    HBDTY

    My pretty … my pretty dps … my pretty MQoSRdps

    My best to TJ and Mrs. BRK

  66. doormonkey on March 18th, 2008 4:33 pm

    Happy Birthday!!!!!

  67. Styfios on March 18th, 2008 4:49 pm

    Happy birthday BRK!

  68. Wolf on March 18th, 2008 4:55 pm

    HAPPY B-DAY!

  69. Determined on March 18th, 2008 5:12 pm

    Hopefully you had a very good day, but hey, i heard some rumors of the average age for retirement going up a lot?
    Ah well! Keep on going with this site, and keep on making noobsauce huntards some good hunters!
    Thanks loads for all the work you’ve put in, and keep up the work!

  70. WarcraftMom on March 18th, 2008 5:31 pm

    Happy Birthday!

  71. Kat on March 18th, 2008 5:32 pm

    Are you going to now learn to eat your Brussels sprouts? =P

    Happy birthday!

  72. Crisara on March 18th, 2008 5:42 pm

    no way! its my birthday too! this is the best day ever! i feel old and im only 23 *wink*

  73. Kestrel on March 18th, 2008 5:47 pm

    Happy Birthday, young man! (I can say that, because I am old!

    Nerf Bow…appropriate. Either that, or a much slower gun…the arthritis, ya know…takes longer to pull the trigger. ;)

  74. Alegion on March 18th, 2008 6:48 pm

    :D Happy Birthday!!

  75. Melf on March 18th, 2008 9:17 pm

    Whoa, I share birthdays with BRK? Awesome :)

    -Melf & Ebbe

  76. gt on March 18th, 2008 11:05 pm

    Hooray! Happy Birthday BRK!

  77. Wamogri on March 19th, 2008 2:04 am

    Happy Birthday! =)

  78. Kluena & Cole on March 19th, 2008 3:18 am

    These little BRKWA snips have some bearing on reality in conjunction with the current Microsuck, Yahoo news stories, but for the life of me, I cannot find any information to confirm or deny this one.

    If anyone has a link to the real story, I’d really love it =) thanks!

    O yea, and Happy B-day BRK! =D

  79. Asara on March 19th, 2008 5:59 am

    Aww, happy belated birthday! :)

  80. Settle this II -- Temerity Jane on March 19th, 2008 7:11 am

    [...] BRK: His birthday was yesterday, and me & Mrs. BRK are awesome. [...]

  81. ailtia on March 19th, 2008 7:40 am

    i agree with TJ…

    -BRK you need to now take all admin right from TJ and the Wife…

    BTW – belated happy happy Birthday

  82. Guessing Game Time, Part 4 - The conclusion. -- Temerity Jane on March 21st, 2008 12:14 pm

    [...] for playing, you’ve been a lovely audience. And thanks also to our sponsor, The Mrs. and The Ponytail, Inc., formerly known as [...]

  83. Wow, well, not WoW, just wow : mostlykaldorei.com on May 4th, 2008 10:23 am

    [...] for the person who searched for "define mqosrdps"- go here, it’s at the end of the [...]