And Another One Bites The Dust
Congratulations, Doom! Yes, the roguish rogue is off the market. Captured in his prime, he’s another example of “the good ones are always taken”.
/sniffle
With almost 13 years of glorious, wedded bliss under our svelt belt, we have some words of wisdom for ya:
BRK Top Ten Rules for Surviving Marriage
10. Surrender. 99 times out of 100, the cost of winning the argument isn’t worth the prize. Just give in. Pink towels? Whatever. Floral bedspread? Take it. Save your energy for the Big Thing You Must Have.
9. Fight to the Death for The Big Thing You Must Have. When the time comes that it is imperative to get what you need, do whatever it takes. Women don’t respect men who are wimps.
8. Don’t Eat Slop. You can’t cook or she can’t cook, both of you must learn to cook. Take a cooking class if you must, but both of you have to be able to put together a solid meal. Food is one of the keys to a long-lasting marriage.
7. Eat Slop. Leftovers, doggie-bags, stuff you’re not sure is safe, dump it all in your gullet. Time is your biggest enemy in a marriage. Spending three hours making dinner every night will destroy you. Cook a Thanksgiving dinner once a month, eath the leftovers for a week. Order two extra meals when you go out to eat, take them home, eat them the next day.
6. Share money. You don’t have to have only one bank account, but a common account where you both can deposit and withdraw funds is crucial to making your marriage a joint-effort.
5. Have your own money. You want that video card, she thinks it’s stupid. She wants those mineral costmetics, you love her without the glop. Keep separate funds separate and buy your own toys without having to ask permission.
4. Argue. Don’t hold it in. Let her know her choice of presidential candidate is a rube and her taste in music is silly. She should tell you that your dancing is obscene in many countries and your collection of porcelain figurines is dumb. Mock, ridicule, and chastise each other. Nobody is perfect, you’re not going to have the exact likes and dislikes. Arguing is Honesty, and no relationship can survive without it.
3. Don’t Argue. She wants to give money to the dog rescue at the pet store, you think it’s a waste of cash. Pony up some payola with her, don’t start a diatribe against charities or non-profit organizations that outfit their CEOs with luxury cars and million-dollar salaries. This is something she loves, she’ll love it more if you participate with her. Be good, be nice, suck it up and hold her hand as she gives your latte money to a potential swindler.
2. Be The Man. Equality shmequality, it’s your job to kill bugs, unclog the drains, get on the roof, change the oil, carve the turkey, say Grace, and watch chick-flicks without being grumpy.
1. Appreciate her being The Woman. She works, cooks, cleans, and smells nice FOR YOU now. Say thank you. Flowers are never inappropriate, even after 13 years. Bask in her beauty and tell her how lovely she is. Hold her tight when she’s sad, soothe her fears when she’s afraid, and bow before her when she rocks your world.
And a Nordstrom’s gift card will usually solve most issues where you’ve screwed up and need permission to come back in the house.
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Dude.
I’m getting married; 6/7/8
Good advice.
Getting nervous, but it’s going to be worth it.
Rock on.
Good advice BRK; I’ll start stocking up on Nordstrom’s cards
I’d love to see a marriage talent tree.
It’s posts like this that make me appreciate how lucky — and how absolutely abnormal — my husband and I are.
I had to call the wife and share those…. thanks you made her laugh.. which adds mega karma points to me.. woot for karma
Winter
Never go to bed with unsettled conflict.
Ensure there is an agreement for your WoW time and don’t screw it up!
Amen!
I agree about a wedding talent tree. Maybe a future post.
/signed
The wife and I will be dinging 10 on April 25th. I could not agree more with points 6 & 5, and 4 & 3…and 2 & 1…er…ya know what? I think I agree with the whole shebang here.
1) Marriage is not for everyone. Make sure it is for you before you do it. If you can’t go 2 days without throwing shit at each other, consider a different option.
2) BRK…most animal shelters are well run, valuable community members. Just don’t donate to the ones run by PETA, a group that cares far more about money and publicity than they do about animals. Local is always better.
Thanks BRK and congrats Doom!
I got engaged last weekend! And now the fun starts- I just got a text message from my bride-to-be saying “I’m not having one of these [a Bridal Shower]. I’d rather shoot myself.” If I could only convince her to roll in WoW, she could shoot others.
Banneker and Ulz
Ah, marriage. Where the right action can become the worst one imaginable five minutes later. Perhaps I wil get married some day. But until then… WoW all day long.
“Long live and prosper” all the BRKs
i should start stockpiling nordstrom’s cards in advance, it seems…
June 22, 1974 – Mrs. Kestrel and I tied the knot. You’re wise beyond your years, Daniel.
hehe marriage talent trees… i suspect i’d be Reparation spec. the 41-point talent is Profuse Apology.
That Big Thing You Must Have…
sex right?
*insert obligatory joke about WoW players and lack of sex here*
So Doom will immediately start doing less damage, meaning BRK is tops on the damage meter again!
Congrats Doom. Uh..I guess congrats to the future Mrs. Doom. I mean..you are marrying a rogue.
nicely done, and along with the cards something small, tasteful, and already giftwrapped should be hiding In everyones closet. Comes in handy when you forget a hallmark holiday =)
Coming up on 19 years here and still lovin it.
10 years this July 25th (YAY I remembered!), and EVERY SINGLE BIT you said was correct.
It bothers me to see folks married 2-3 years, and the way they fight says “We aren’t going to be together in a year.” I think most folks jump in, or are forced in (in one way or another).
But for those of us with True Love…it’s a wonderful thing and CAN last a lifetime!
I can still remember my grandfather bringing home flowers to grandma. Still works even in the 80s and 90s.
Grats to Doom! And GJ! to BRK on the Top Ten Rules. I’m gonna have to show that to me Fiancee. She and I are going to get mauied this July (yep, a destination wedding!).
Ahrtu
Can’t stress enough how important it is to argue. You’re so right there. My ex and I never argued. Right up to the moment we got divorced. Kinda coincidental, ya think?
13 years? w00000t!
I’m marrying my beloved BM hunter in real-life on May 3.
My main is a 70 mage. I’ll definitely be showing these rules to him later tonight…if he hasn’t read them already. 
One rule I’d throw in there, having been previously married and having watched my parents… “Always make sure you have something fun in common.” Nothing’s worse than seeing two perfectly good folks have nothing they want to do together. In our case, it’s WoW, concerts, books, and bad martial arts movies.
Bytortkd (hunter) + Metrocake (mage) = <3.
BRK you da man!
and never, ever, roll the same class.
ever.
period.
for all eternity.
Um nordstrom doesnt always work, i have to stockpile bookstore and computer store cards…. did i mention that my significant other is the PERFECT woman =) and yes we are looking to get married soon O, and she rolled the hunter im the pally so it works we are different classes
LOL, you forgot a big one. Make sure you have a weekly date with your significant other to spend time off the computer. Especially if you both play! Spending time playing WOW with each other is great, but make sure you remember to look into her real eyes and talk to her occasionally about out of game stuff.