An Ode To Raiding
Gettin’ ready in Mount Hyjal, all warm and happy,
Our latte is gone, our feet are all tappy,
We dream of Vashj taking a long, wet, dirty nappy,
Huzzah! We really can’t wait to raid!
To say we’re hooked is a little absurd.
We could’ve easily quit if we’d only heard,
That Mrs BRK was loudly flipping us the bird,
As from our approved WoW-schedule, we’d strayed.
“They need us!” we cried loudly into the dark,
“Rage Winterchill awaits, this isn’t a lark!”
But we saw at the end of a match a small spark.
Our Mac was to meet a fiery end.
“Zoinks and geepers, you’re batty!” we threw in her face.
As her footpads grew heavy, her hand like a mace,
She approached our computer with malice and hate.
And the mouse from our grasp she did rend.
“You dumb b@stard, you moron, you’re simply a ‘tard!”
She pummeled us loudly, without care or regard.
“You think a woman like me just grows in the yard!?”
She challenged our manhood, yes she did.
“I put up with WoW, I put up with your blog,
I deal with men and women agog!
Right now I think you care much more for the dog!!”
Holy jeez, the woman was livid.
“Sweetie, you’re not Number Two on our list, don’t be silly,
But this boss drops some bracers that we covet tremendously.
Could you give us an hour to finish this quickly?”
The room grew still, then she spoke:
“I’m gracious and kind, not to mention a lady.
You may not have one hour, but two for your raid-y.
Then you’re all mine, or a replacement agency
Is where you will find me, no joke.”
She huffed away satisfied, content with her display.
Although this hunter was sadly ignorant of her sway.
But Rage did go down in a magnificent display,
Of ranged DPS and big heals.
So logging off quickly, we jumped in the shower,
To smartly avoid more wifely shouts and glowers.
But by the time we returned, asleep hard was our flower.
This sucked; tonight neither loot nor fun squeals.
A lesson for everybody can be found in these words:
Don’t allow WoW to interfere with your herd.
Give more to your family than the flight-point birds!
Turn the dumb game off tonight.
So that’s where we’ll be, abed with our mate.
Watching bad movies and devouring cake,
Praying to Elune not to watch, “The Wedding Date”.
While dreaming of Vashj on Sunday, right?
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43 Responses to “An Ode To Raiding”
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I think your RL trinket proc’d there :-).
those are words for the wise….
http://www.wowitemcreator.com/view/205407/Reality.html
I wrote about my own RL Trinket here…
http://fauxpaws.wordpress.com/2008/04/20/new-guild-new-server-new-friends-eustacius/
- e
true story, those are words of wisdom.
LOL! That was great! And I don’t usually like poetry
Wife aggro crits BRK for 10339
BRK activates Aspect of the Husband
“Aspect of the Husband”
I love it!
Ahh…true words to live by. Real Life > Wow. 20 years, heck even 5 or 10 years, from now any accompishments in WoW will be meaningless; so, why risk destroying a marriage or job for it. Excellent post BRK.
I just have to say it. From a poetry standpoint, the poem sucked. Forced rhyming, no rhyme scheme, no meter to speak of. Luckily nobody cares about poetry from a poetry standpoint.
I couldn’t agree more. WoW is great and it’s hard to turn down a raid when thy need you, but family/significant others need to come first. If only my ex-girlfriend had read this.
Enjoy the evening.
Very witty, and all so true LOL
I can see it now… he finishes the raid and gets all pissy when his bracers don’t drop. So he grabs a shower, thinking Mrs BRK will give him some sweet lovin’ to make up for it and she’s snoring like a bulldozer.
Mrs BRK resisted your Aspect Of The Husband
Cute, but don’t quit your day-job.
William McGonnagall award for bad poetry but Nobel Prize in Literature for presenting the truth.
I linked to it on my guild’s web site and ordered people to read it.
TJ, to quote the Guinness brothers, “BRILLIANT!”
*can’t stop laughing*
*suffocates*
*dies*
You keep a very strange blog. I must say that it’s refreshing
This is pure win in a can.
With FANGS.
awww.
@BRK: Liked it so much I sent the link to my fiancee. I think she’ll be able to relate all to well…
Thanks, BRK!
@Jason: There is a reason you can’t get a woman with any shred of self respect to date you.
OOA
I love this blog.
BRK, bring home bam bam.
@ Outofammo
not that i answer to you, but I’ve been married for almost a decade
AAAB CCCB
That’s the poetry scheme. You may hate our poetry, but don’t diss our scheme.
‘Cause it’s a phat scheme, and… yeah!
Jason, nobody asked for that. This isn’t The Boondocks.
The lessons you learn from playing WoW always so interesting.
Always give the wife a foot massage and back rub to put her to sleep. Then go out and play.
Dude, is it a full moon? Mine decided to be interested in some of my time last night right in the middle of A’lar.
I had to buy a couple of roses today and show up at her work to drop on the agro meter.
Good job BRK, we all need to know that it’s just a game (once in a while), and to all a good night!
Cheers
Galor, Maggie May and Rex
oh! and my wife too, hehe
You fail as a hunter BRK… you should have feigned death.
She would have come in, found you dead and just returned to her spawn point.
…unless everything WoW has taught me has been a lie…
Really, really bad poetry…
Very apt and funny message…
[...] Visto en BigRedKitty. [...]
@ Jinzul
Wives are immune to feign death…vanish and invisibility too for that matter. And taunt.
…hm..actually taunting works..but its a bad idea.
Actually, feign death, after being resisted, causes HUGE amounts of Threat(s)…
“Aspect of the Husband” priceless.
Doesn’t seem to work on my Princess but then she is the guilds main druid off tank
Although her /cast canyoumakemeamugoftea seems to work fine on me
Luckly I have 3/3 in thick hide and a high resiliance rating - may be no sexy time tonight (kara), but I’ll get over it…..
/casts Aspect of the Hand
@ Heffer “Aspect of the Hand”……..f***in hilarious!!!!
*rolls on floor*
Luckily I don’t encounter this very often as generally she is more interested in reading, or doing something else during my wow time … Although I do make some time for her between raiding … and she has commented that she thinks I love Sapphire, (My kitty), more than her once or twice.
Nicely done, actually made me think about all the time I put into Wow. Took a few days off, was kind of refreshing.
Before your surrendered to wisdom, BRK, I hope you didn’t try stabling Mrs BRK….
And she probably prefers respect to respec
Great post…..Funny stuff and true
Poetry worthy of the Vogons.
Wives might be immune to Feign Death, but the ARE susceptible to Distracting Shot! Just keep a bag full of cheap diamond rings and toss one over her shoulder every time you draw aggro. I can see it now…
“And another thing, BRK! Why don’t you ever take me out dan…ooh…shiney!”
mm
This is why my hopefully someday wife to be….
and I …..
Raid together…..
oh, yeah, and we have the desks really close…..
/g Hoder and S(%*^*% need to afk a bit…
Yeah, we’re kinda sick, but we like us
and Huzzah! for the Vogon reference…
/bow
Ok BRK, this is no joke. My wife and myself both play WOW, she was into it way before me. On afternoon/late evening I dropped the word that maybe we should do a little bed questing. This is the responce I got: “Humm, ok but I have a raid at 8:00,think we can be done by then?” It was 7:30 then…
i did take this to be that BRK was raiding on a non-wow raid night and he got caught! I suspect FD would not have worked, and MrsBRK’s version of Lay on Hands doesn’t actually do the same thing.
Hopefully BRK made amends and is back in the Wow playing saddle.
I am single and play a lot. I can’t imagine how you married folks do it.
for those together who get to raid
at times apart but never long
once more the bed to be remade
as over vent our groups do shout
for what are we, but slaves to her
who stands beside us through the day
once more we down another boss
then all is well a job well done
so in these times of war and WoW
remember friends to take some time
to play online but also not
to time the time, reseal the knot