If You Wish To Speak to BRK, Please Press One
Tell him we’re busy killing this Death Knigget! Yeeha!
I’m sorry, but he’s very insistent.
Death to Kniggets! Tell him to call back later!
He’s being a little rude…
DIE DIE DIE!! Yay! We won!
BRK, your brain? He’s becoming belligerent. This is a low-paying job; I shouldn’t have to deal with him….
OK OK. Put him through… Hello Brain, what’s up?
Since when did you hire a secretary to answer your phone?
The BRK Mojo was bored, so we gave him a part-time job. Now what’s on your mind?
Well…
Ha! Brain! Mind! That’s a funny and you missed it. Point, us.
I’m leaving, I thought you should know.
Leaving? Why?
Because I’ve had it! Because apparently the BRK Ego needs to expand, and since I’m not being used much since you hit level 73 and found that new PvP area…
THE HORDE GOTTA DIE, ESPECIALLY DEATH KNIGGETS!
You’re still upset over that level 79 Blood Elf Death Knight who cleaned your clock, it’s very obvious.
NOT AT ALL! Just because he crit us for 11,000 doesn’t mean we’re locked into mowing down every low-level 70 Hordie who flags in this zone and doesn’t realize we’re stalking them.
It’s called Ganking.
Not when they’re our level and intentionally flag. That’s called War.
You’re not proving anything by Bestial Wrathing, popping Rapid Fire, and letting your Moth “Swoop” them.
We’re proving that Death is a natural phenomenon, that’s what we’re proving.
You could be doing something worthwhile, like making that Bird of Prey movie.
This is totally worthwhile; we’re testing the Horde graveyards.
You’re being an out-and-out buffoon is what you’re doing. Your grunts and “Sit Down!” screams have pissed me right off!
Listen Brain, this is a PvP area. Every mob says, “PvP”. The quests all say, “PvP”. The equipment vendor sells gear for PvP tokens. You can’t swing a dead Knigget without hitting a Horde or Alliance NPC engaged in combat with each other. It’s “Southshore Meets Tarren Mill” in a steel-cage match. It’s FUN!
It’s fun when you win, that’s what you mean.
You sure you’re Brain, not Duh?
And that’s why we’re leaving. You refuse to use tactics, guile, or form teams to outflank and out-think your opponent. You’re just waiting for them to flag PvP and say, “OK, what’s next?” and then you mow them down in a hail of Bestial Wrath, a flurry of arrows, and a KillShot that crits for 5k.
You make it sound so dirty.
Have you had to kite a rogue? Engage a warrior in melee combat? Use your new Disengage?
No, no, and no.
So what, exactly, pray tell, are you learning?
That in PvP, if you let a hunter get off Bestial Wrath and allow him to stay at range, you’re gonna die. And it’s a great lesson!
But how is that different from Outland?
Well… it’s not different in the least.
So you’re not learning anything! I’m in full Idle-Mode here!
We learned we still love killing Horde!
That’s not “learning”, that’s… something else…
See? You’re not Brain. You’re Duh.
If you used me more often in the beta, I’d be more eloquent. I’m starving, can’t you see that?
A hunter use his brain in the beta? With the Serpent Sting Bug and the Chimaera Bug and the Tracking Bug and the Pet-Pathing Disaster? There’s no point.
We use you to help write our bug reports, but as far as actually learning anything, at this point in the beta, it’s pointless. We can do show-n-tells, but shot rotations and enemy weakness analysis? Well everything is right-n-properly borked. New patches every week to fix some horrible warrior OPness and nothing being doing about our pet getting locked in the terrain! If we think about it, we’ll go loopy.
There is little use in writing a detailed essay on Huntering in Northrend when the very laws of physics, the algorithms governing how we interact with our environment, are constantly changing. What we did yesterday is worthless today. What we’re doing right now will probably be reversed and inverted tomorrow. If we had to commit to paper every permutation of combat interactions, we’d never get anything done.
People want a taste of Northrend, but they don’t want the entire dinner; they want to be surprised when they get here. Movies of the terrain are out. Movies of the instances are out. Discussions of instance-bosses and specific quests are no-no’s.
We would write about the mechanics and how our Auto Shot interacts with all our other shots, how Marksman has changed, how the pets are performing with their new talents, but 90% of the entire hunter-class is totally broken! What’s the point? None, that’s what.
What we need from you, Brain, is to just hold on a bit longer. We’ll go back to Dr. Boom, draw pretty charts, show some math at work, and deliver the new standards in MQoSRDPS for leveling and doing instances, but ONLY when we have a real basis upon which to build them. Anything else would be a waste of our readers’ time and our brain cells; You.
That’s… that’s the most you’ve used me in two weeks… thank you. That was beautiful.
Good. Now let’s get back to killing Kniggets. We saw a level 76 trying to AoE grind and we think he needs to be introduced to Mr. Moth, here.
Can I fire the crossbow?
In your dreams.
Comments
30 Responses to “If You Wish To Speak to BRK, Please Press One”





Hehehehe….I leave for work with a smile. Thanks, BRK.
and i am leaving from work with a smile. amazing post BRK as usual.
PS. I work in India. da far east.
I concur with Brain on this one.
But I’m a sissy blueberry carebear, what do I know.
lol
By the way. The new training Dummys in Northend are the new Doctor Boom. So says the Wow Insider.
To expand on what Deathrabit said, there are now both lvl80 training dummies, and boss-loevel training dummies in Dalaraan whose stats match those of the mobs they represent. You can use your pet, you can use your melee abilities, everything on them and they will react just like a real mob would (minus the trying to smash you).
If you are going to be testing shot rotations and spec comparisons in dps, they are the place to go.
That’s unfortunate about brain and hunters in general. =/ You’ll get the attention and love you deserve sooner or later.
I did learn something just now though. Two somethings, actually. First, I can’t listen to your podcast and read your blog at the same time. Second, I can’t write an response paper while listening to your podcast. It’s hard to focus on something other than you when you’re voice is in my head. Nice work.
This worries me a bit about the hunter playing friend I just gifted a beta key to. I was looking forward to her dashing around Northrend with me so we could explore together, but now if she’s all borked, I’m unsure how successful we’ll be. (BTW, rogues have their share of bugs, too. After downloading the beta and patches for 12 hours – computer borked – and spending an hour getting everything on my character the way I wanted it, I got to Northrend only to find that my energy wasn’t there and wasn’t regenerating. I was basically rendered unplayable for hours until it fixed itself through multiple relogs.)
Meanwhile, I recommend never reading the phrase “warrior OPness” out loud to your boyfriend. He asked me if the warriors were Irish. You have to say it to get it…unfortunately.
“You have to say it to get it…unfortunately.”
…oh my.
*bursts into uncontrollable laughter*
Xanth: Ahahahahaha!
Xanth’s Brain: Amg… so eloquent… so beautiful… /crai!
Xanth: Shush you, I’m enjoying the stories of Hordies meeting their doom to BW. Ahahaha!
Xanth’s Brain: …Go get on your PVP troll Hunter, noob. STV calls to you.
^Totally no longer a blueberry carebear. Still a raider at heart, though.
I think brain has been left on hiatus a bit too long there BRK. Brain cells are dying in you as you beat on kniggets. Yes, hunters are borked in beta, but put the beer (you so fondly call raspberry latte) down and focus.
Awe, never mind, you’re writing the blog for yourself, not us, but if you do decide to tax your brain, I’d like to see more mid to upper level hunter skills. Dust off BRKtestbed and show us how/when to use his new skills, like Volley. I use the various skills I have in my arsenal, but it doesn’t mean I use them to their full potential.
I learned VAST amounts about how to solo instances watching Dysphoria, and I still return to those videos to gleam yet another nugget on how to solo better, but you teach differently; much more straight forward.
Teach about Battleground strategies and who you want to have by your side and why when a horde gang jump you in a dark alley, or how you can prepare for the gang as they run out of the shadows.
Let your brain think and run freely, don’t lock him away in the DIE DEATH KNIGGET zone.
…and @ Sharon, too funny! I nearly spilled my…. raspberry latte.
If you are unfamiliar with Dysphoria’s “Hunter vs. World” videos http://www.youtube.com/user/dysph They are also on warcraftmovies.com
@Sharon: That energy bug isn’t just for rogues. For some reason, every so often when you log on a character in the beta, they just won’t regen energy/mana/rage/runes (seen this on my DK and Paladin in addition to someone mentioning it in General every hour or so). No one knows why it happens, but relogging seems to fix it.
“The BRK Mojo was bored, so we gave him a part-time job. Now what’s on your mind?”
Best line you have ever wrote.
WTH is a death knigget? (obviously a death knight) but where did knigget come from? Cause it looks close to a bad word.
@ Sephran–”WTH is a death knigget? (obviously a death knight) but where did knigget come from? Cause it looks close to a bad word.”
….Presumably you’re not familiar with the sublime joys of Monty Python and the Holy Grail? Listen for the french taunter in that movie…
That was the most entertaining thing I have read all week BRK
Thanks for the smiles BRK little one home sick from school and he kept asking what so funny…trully epic thanks again
One word: BRILLIANT!!!
wow. knigget may be the single most offensive thing I have ever heard you say BRK. Might want to rethink that word…
and I AM familiar with monty python, and a huge fan… but that word is a little too close to really offensive for me
Jeez the political correctness brigade strike again!
If you listen to BRK’s excellent podcast you will find that knigget is actually pronounced “kernigget”
Chill out!
If you’re offended by how close the word “knigget” sounds to a certain offensive word, you must get really upset whenever anyway says “bigger” in front of you.
“Knigget”
love that!
This desire to kill Hordies is starting to upset me.
Ahhh the joys of Pvp. I am on a PVE server and made a hunter as a alt to level with my buddy the problem is he is insensitive to my Bestial Wrath needs. The first 6 levels in the pvp BG’s are fine we run around and level… But once i hit the top 4 levels then i am /whine about leveling because he doesnt understand the the urge to mow down horde in AB or WSG. Any suggestions?
Does nobody remember Monty Python? The Holy Grail?
“Kniggets!”
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=kniggets
It’s really worth watching the movie. If you don’t, “I fart in your general direction.”
Wouldn’t you have to level to actually test DPS numbers? I don’t think many people care what you can do at level 74 in terms of DPS.
So you are saying that PvP makes us stupid? Will I have to give it up?
@Lofeswinn: You sound like the worst kind of “casual BGer” huntard, the kind that shows up with not enough levels, crappy gear, no sense of tactics or strategy or effective communication, who just runs around AB/WSG picking off random clothies and trying to top the damage scoreboard, without really helping their team towards the actual objectives of the battleground.
Suggestion? Re-roll on a PvP server. I think your inflated opinion of your own PvP prowess (”mow down horde”) might get a nice dose of reality after about the first 1,000 times you get ganked.
BRK wat do u think bout http://www.worldofwarcraft(.)com/info/classes/hunter/talents2.html?tal=152032015252120331305313010053052002000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
@Warpy: Oh, would you? Please?
You should have stopped after “hunter using his brain?”