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We Spill Some Beans

BRK » 09 December 2008 » In Glyphs »

“Dear BRK, do you ever get sneak-peaks at upcoming changes at Blizzard? Fakeemailer the Hunter”

Totally. Not only do we get invited on private tours and get sent DVDs packed with future content, but we even tunnel into the secure FTP server and data-mine while we soak in the tub. What kind of stuff do we find? Ooodles of goodies, like these new glyphs coming in 3.0.3.:

[Glyph of the Huntard] Equippable by any class other than a hunter, it prevents any hunter who has +Strength or +Spirit gear from auto-joining the party of the glyph-wearer.

[Glyph of the Squishie] If your regular five-person group includes no warriors, paladins, or death knights, this glyph will convert all those plate-drops you get into cloth.

[Glyph of the Kettle Drum] If your regular five-person group includes no dress-wearers, this glyph will convert all those cloth-drops into metal-banging chunks of steel.

[Glyph of the Stupid Stats] That nice blue chest armor that dropped, it has +Agi, +Sta, +Int, and +Crit, but it also has +Spell Power. It’s for shaman, you poor, sodden b@stard. But if you had a GotSS, you could swap SpellPower for AttackPower, and vice versa.

[Glyph of Travel’s Tundra Mammoth] People who own a TTM get a cut of all sales to and from the TTM.

[Glyph of the Achievement Editor] You’ve completed Sunwell, but according to your achievements, you haven’t done regular Botanica. GotAE allows you to correct that error, but just for regular and heroic Outland dungeons. If you want BWL, ya gotta go get it done yourself.

[Glyph of the Double Agent] Every 24 hours, you can attack and kill a member of your own faction. Does not count as an honor kill, cannot be done in battlegrounds, arenas, or PvP-zones. Mining-node ninjas? Oh yeah, that’s a “Go”.

[Glyph of the Alt] You want to run a heroic but your healer is playing his hunter-alt, because that’s the toon he uses to farm mats for his priest. Slap a GotA in your spellbook, and all your guild’s alt are immediately locked-out. If they want to play WoW, they gotta get on their mains.

[Glyph of the LF2M Tank and Healer] Very simple, it filters all the people advertising for T-n-H from your LFG-channel. After four hours of nothing but DPS begging for instance-help, you’ll be glad you got one of these. Trust us.

[Glyph of the OP Human Race] You get a 10% bonus to all reputation gains. Usable by all races but humans.

[Glyph of the Paradigm Shifter] Allows any race to be a hunter. Start a gnome warrior, but a GotPS, slap it on, POW! Go tame yourself a bear, you gnome-hunter you.

[Glyph of the Slow Leveler] You’ve got four 80s in your guild, and 127,000 level 74s. Slap one of these glyphs on, and you’ll be allowed to take a level from one person’s toon and give it to another. You’ve got sixteen level 73 rogues? Take seven of them down one level each and give those level-points to the best raiding-rogue who has time to play. Bingo, there’s your level 80 rogue, ready to run instances with you.

[Glyph of the Explorer] Ding! Chester has explored all of Feralas! Ding! Chester has explored all of Un’goro! Ding! Chester has explored all of Mulgore! Ding… SHUT IT CHESTER!! End the pain now with a Glyph of the Explorer, which mutes all “level-70 and under” achievements.

[Glyph of the Fast-Forward Button] The chatter in Culling of Stratholme is cool. The first twenty times you hear it. Slap on this glyph and get right down to fighting without all the pretense and babbling by the NPCs.

[Glyph of the Explosive Shell] Turns all bullets into explosive-tipped shells. Bonus fire damage with every shot.

[Glyph of the Poisoned Arrow] Gives all arrows a coating of strychnine. Bones nature damage with every phoot.

[Glyph of the Ear Muffs] If you can’t stand the sound of hunters and their guns, this will put a silencer on all hunter-weapons within a 100 yard radius.

[Glyph of the Glutton] ChesterMcLootsaLot won a blue from the first boss, the second boss, and a purple from the last boss. Then he rolled Need on the Frozen Orb, and he’s a double-gatherer! Dude, you get that much loot from one instance, you’re supposed to Pass on the crafter-items, got it? Well don’t worry, we’re equipping a GotG, so next time, if he gets phat loot, he has to get permission to roll anything but Greed on BoP items from the final boss of an instance.

[Glyph of the Ninja] If anybody changes the loot rules mid-fight, this glyph will scan their name and their guild, and announce on all chat-channels that a loot ninja from XYZGuild shouldn’t be trusted.

[Glyph of the Guild-Mama] Allows you to respec your talents at a 50% discount, only equippable by one member of a guild.

[Glyph of the Professional] Your top-end for manufacturing professions drops to 445. There’s nothing great about hitting 450, no special recipes you can learn, so why waste all that time hitting some stupid number just for an achievement? Here, use this glyph and save yourself a couple thousand gold.

[Glyph of the Auction House] Allows you to set a limit on the price of items you can see, so you don’t blow 24,999 gold on a motorcycle you’ll regret in twenty seconds.

[Glyph of the Cooking Daily] No more Infused Mushroom Meatloaf, ever again. This glyph blows up the NPC quest giver if she offers you this quest for the ten billionth time.

[Glyph of the Diplomat] Grants you diplomatic immunity, allowing you to fly on your mount in and around Dalaran.

[Glyph of the Texter] Converts normal English to, “hay ur mount r sweetz!” jargon. Perfect for those players who don’t want to give away their age by using proper grammar and spelling in chat.

[Glyph of the Skinner] Decreases the cast time of skinning by 50%. Similar glyphs exist for mining and flower-picking, natch.

[Glyph of the Independent Merchant] Allows you to set up shop in a major city and sell your wares without having to pay a kickback to the Auction House. You get a big honkin’ sign over your head and everything.

[Glyph of the Tuna] You get to go from dinging 80 to raiding heroic 25-man instances in one night.

[Glyph of the Mania] Gives you another stable slot and an in-game Petopia calendar.

[Glyph of the Melvin] Your class is randomly changed to something else without telling you. You think you’re playing your mage, but you’re really playing a shaman. Your button-presses and mouse-clicks seem to work, you have a good reason for doing whatever it is you think you’re doing, but really you’re dropping bizarre totems and trying to use a sword at the same time.

[Glyph of the Megs] Causes your toon’s hair to “grow” two feet longer, or drag on the ground behind you, whichever is shorter.

[Glyph of the Ratshag] Your toon’s pants disappear.

[Glyph of the TJ] EVERYTHING YOU TYPE IS IN CAPS.

[Glyph of the BBBB] Your toon gets a Hunter’s Mark spell, regardless of class, reminding you how much you love to play your hunter.

[Glyph of the BigRedKitty] Every time you try to record a five-person instance trash pull while using Freezing Arrow, you’ll wipe the party.

Glyphs | December 9, 2008

Comments

46 Responses to “We Spill Some Beans”

  1. Taiomah on December 9th, 2008 6:56 am

    Great post BRK!
    Though regarding glyph of the huntard, since you have your shiny new chest piece from the Argent Crusade and since it has the “+6 to all stats” enchant, does it not technically mean that the great BRK himself has “+ to spirit and strength”? :P

  2. Brian on December 9th, 2008 7:15 am

    hahaha funny stuff good work
    second…

  3. Nefernet on December 9th, 2008 7:31 am

    Mouhahahaha !
    This is too good ! Excellent !

    My favs : TTM, Double Agent, Ear Muffs, Glutton, Cooking Daily, Texter (do they do it in french too ?), Skinner, Melvin, Meg and BRK !
    Is that a too long fav list ?

  4. Nefernet on December 9th, 2008 7:33 am

    Editing doesn’t work…

    Just a question to BRK’s brain : would you give us more detail about BRK wiping his group with freezing arrow ?
    Please… :D

  5. Teaakius on December 9th, 2008 7:56 am

    I want the Fast Forward button…and I’d like for Double Agent to work on Horde ninja’s that refuse to flag as well…an unflagged horde ninja is almost worse then an Alliance Ninja.

  6. Kaeldar on December 9th, 2008 7:57 am

    Freezing arrow sucks. Nothing else need be said.

    You have more control of the positining, the cooldown, and the mob if you use the trap your monkey *cough* I mean tank is already trained to work with.

  7. BowtieNut on December 9th, 2008 8:28 am

    Glyph of the Double Agent - was that a gold spammer I just heard? hehehe. Yes plz!

    Glyph of the Paradigm Shifter - oh man, I can finally haz a gnome hunter?

    I would SOOOOOO love to have these two!!!!

  8. Kliu on December 9th, 2008 8:53 am

    Freezing Arrow is a bit of a gimmik but it doesn’t suck.

    P v P: Drop it on a healer in the far back. Watch ‘em wish they had trinket.
    Instances: Caster pulls. Ask the tank to move before opening up and its done.
    (Easy as a sheep. Only - cooler. Bah bah!)
    Aggro saves: No longer have to stop damage and dash over, to drop a lifesaver.

    It wont replace the way we trap, just help us expand on it.

  9. Shagrat on December 9th, 2008 8:55 am

    WTB Glyph of Stupid Stats PST.

    I ran Heroic Gundrak last night (first boss is a PITA, rest of the place is cake) and we do the extra Gorloc boss. He drops a mail helm and I see +Agi, +Sta, and +Int and my happy hunter heart does a little dance…until I see Equip: Increases your expertise rating by 35 (4.27 @ L80). I promptly curled up in the fetal position. (item in question: http://www.wowhead.com/?item=43311) Should I have taken it? Maybe. I’d probably get better use out of the shard it became though. I did win the frozen orb off the last boss and the one in the H-UK run we did right after too and I did get the What the Eck? acheivement so it wasn’t a total loss.

  10. Rilgon Arcsinh on December 9th, 2008 8:58 am

    [Glyph of the Skinner] Decreases the cast time of skinning by 50%. Similar glyphs exist for mining and flower-picking, natch.

    I would seriously give up a Minor Glyph slot for something like this for Mining.

  11. Jaikara on December 9th, 2008 9:12 am

    Another fine and highly amusing post BRK.

  12. WB on December 9th, 2008 9:51 am

    Discovered a nice use for the freezing arrow last night in heroic Utgard keep. Three pallys, dps warrior and little ole hunter-me in a group. Whole lotta plate in that group. Tankadin pulls, retadin stuns a caster mob and I would toss a freezing arrow onto it just for giggles. Actaully worked well, could see it being really successful in combination with a rogue Sap. For my own pulls tho, I still prefer the tried and true method.

    Also, I’m pretty sure one of three had the glyph of the Kettle drum. All three bosses dropped plate, including the epic plate off last boss. I swear it converted my xbow.

    An epic bow still eludes me. UK numerous times, Two Naxx-10s cleared and two naxx-25s to Saph and to patchwerk. Is there a glyph of epic ranged weapon drop available?

  13. Azlen on December 9th, 2008 9:58 am

    The [Glyph of Awesome]: Allows the Hunter to cast Misdirect on anyone, and adds a slight speed increase for 5 seconds. The speed increase can be refreshed for 5 seconds by typing /lol or /rofl.

    [The Glyph of the Rhino] buffs the toon of your choice with Disengage.

  14. greg on December 9th, 2008 10:06 am

    I’m starting to think BRK as way too much time on his hands. Loved the post,.

  15. Rilgon Arcsinh on December 9th, 2008 10:40 am

    UK numerous times, Two Naxx-10s cleared and two naxx-25s to Saph and to patchwerk. Is there a glyph of epic ranged weapon drop available?

    /2 Now crafting [Engineering: Nesingwary 4000], free with your mats, and I can also make you a [Engineering: Heartseeker Scope] for that ;)

  16. WB on December 9th, 2008 11:10 am

    Yeah, Ril, I hear ya. My GM actually has the pattern. I’ve started pulling together the eternals, have two scopes in the bank from helping him level Engi (along with boxes and boxes of projectile makers) and I’ll will have to eat the cost of the titanium.

    But I KNOW that as soon as I get it crafted, 4Horse or Patchy or Kel is going to drop a 141 dps weapon and I’m going to flip out. I hate making crafted gear because I inevitably replace it immediately. Had the mats for Giantmaim, then for the Slicers but didn’t pull the trigger (hunter pun) and fortunately got the upgrades in Naxx. Guess I need to get the mats together and wait patiently for the karma to work.

    I shouldn’t complain tho, I have 7 epics in <2 weeks for raiding. We only have two hunters and no Enh Sham, so mail dps pieces are easy to get. Plus we onyl have 6 people rolling on Protector gear, so T7 come quickly.

    Time to suck it up I guess.

  17. Rilgon Arcsinh on December 9th, 2008 11:29 am

    Too bad T7 sucks (at least the 10-man version).

    Only piece that’s an upgrade is the helm.

  18. WB on December 9th, 2008 11:45 am

    ./shrug. Upgrade from what? Any of the T7s are an upgrade from quest blues and T6. I’m working on epic Heroic 5-man drops (I like your list), but I’ll take what comes. And mail drops in Naxx fill in nicely.

    Also, the 2-piece T7 bonus of 5% damage by pet is great for a BM hunter. Not so much for MM, as far as I understand. On the other hand, the ridiculous piles of haste which is an almost complete waste for BM, not so bad for MM. But yeah, it’s not exactly perfectly designed. And of course, the complete absence of +hit on anything except the chest.

    The 4-piece Viper bonus - I haven’t seen a fight last long enough for that to matter yet. I <3 retadins.

    However, think back to the mail (and plate for that matter) in Kara and T4. A lot of poorly designed stuff. Presumably, T8 and T9 will be better designed. Hence, maybe having the non-ideal T7 sort of sets the stage for better gear in the future raids? That’s my “Susie sunshine” spin on the gear.

  19. Lee on December 9th, 2008 11:51 am

    Awesome as always!

    No matter what worries I have in my life, reading your posts makes everything perfect again.

    /bow at BigRedKitty

  20. ihlos on December 9th, 2008 12:03 pm

    [Glyph of Chuck Norris] Summon a Chuck Norris that stares down a quest giver until they give you the quest reward. Lasts 10 seconds.

    Sorry, it had to be done

  21. Alco on December 9th, 2008 12:15 pm

    These articles are why this site is a must read every day

  22. Woodrun on December 9th, 2008 12:34 pm

    …stop…sides splitting…can i please get the Huntard Glyph??

    I swear if I see another guildie hunter in +Spirit gear and wearing leather Im gonna get a [Glpyph of Mama Said Knock You Out!]

    LOL

    As always BRK you are the shiz’nit!

    ~ Hunter Noob? BRK Fo’shizzle!

  23. megan on December 9th, 2008 12:50 pm

    BRK, one of these days I am going to go Rapunzel on yo ass.

  24. Josh on December 9th, 2008 12:55 pm

    BRK, when you change your talents, it’s called a “respec.” Short for “respecialize,” referring to your talent specialization. Past tense is “respecced,” and can be used as a verb as in “respeccing.” For example, your “spec,” as in your talent specialty, is Beast Mastery. If you were to switch your specialization to Marksmanship, you would say to your readership “I respecced Marks, natch.”

    In short, the word “respect” does not convey the concept of the verb-abbreviation “respecced.” Stop using “respect” to convey a talent swap. I am of course referring to your blatant misuse of the word “respect” in this post, noted here:
    [Glyph of the Guild-Mama] Allows you to respect your talents at a 50% discount, only equippable by one member of a guild.

    If you do not comply, I shall bring my righteous fury down upon you and your’s. Don’t think I can’t, I’m hip to your kiting ways - I’ve got Hand of Freedom and I’m not afraid to use it.

  25. Azurax on December 9th, 2008 1:12 pm

    So we just got Nerfed, in the words of GC ” TO THE GROUND BABY”

    http://forums.worldofwarcraft.com/thread.html?topicId=13275172587&sid=1

  26. Nick S on December 9th, 2008 1:47 pm

    So we just got Nerfed, in the words of GC ” TO THE GROUND BABY”

    Yeah, that’s a HUGE nerf. I’m guessing it’s a little bit too much of a nerf, actually. On the plus side, it should probably bring MM and Surv closer to BM… on the downside, that’s a REALLY big nerf.

  27. Azurax on December 9th, 2008 1:54 pm

    Hate to say this, But I just started leveling my Resto shaman, lvl 71 now.

  28. Doomilias on December 9th, 2008 1:56 pm

    im so sad im thinking about going back to my rogue for raiding main…

  29. Róhirrim on December 9th, 2008 2:01 pm

    “[Glyph of the LF2M Tank and Healer]”

    LOL
    How often don’t you see people announcing “LF tank and Healer for Group ready to go!” Right, hehe… :p

  30. thinkinglink on December 9th, 2008 2:10 pm

    rofl!!!

    lots of good BRK stuff as usual. my fav would have to be

    [Glyph of the Paradigm Shifter] Allows any race to be a hunter. Start a gnome warrior, but a GotPS, slap it on, POW! Go tame yourself a bear, you gnome-hunter you.

  31. FEUERHUND on December 9th, 2008 2:58 pm

    All that insider info, and you didn’t know about the incoming hunter mega-nerf?!

    We need [Glyph of Protection from Blizzard]

  32. Kliu on December 9th, 2008 3:29 pm

    *Jaw drops at … at.. that.*

    Yes.. yes we needed some adjusting.
    Total removal of all claws the spec had from our pets?
    Smack in the face of all hunter spec with the steady shot ‘adjustment’?
    Err not sure what to think of the five second … taunt? Its not a bubble, for sure.

    Isn’t this just a TAD overkill?

    Maybe this the first of blizzard going down the row making content harder by shaking down the damage classes so bosses last longer?

  33. Flyntlock on December 9th, 2008 3:54 pm

    My attempt at a Hunter Haiku:
    I cried when I heard ’bout the
    nerf and I cried more
    mage and lock guildmates licking tears

  34. Azurax on December 9th, 2008 4:04 pm

    Frost Fire is up next on the nerf list I bet.

    At least I can get rid of people telling me to go 50/21

  35. Ratshag on December 9th, 2008 4:17 pm

    Dosn’t say, but if Glyph of the Ratshag isn’t a Major Glyph I will be deeply offended.

  36. WB on December 9th, 2008 4:24 pm

    Yeah, but 50/21 was SOOOOO much fun on boss fights! 36 seconds of rapid-fire-shootin’ godliness every 3 minutes, with interspersed periods of good ole fashion 18 second godliness. . . .

    Beyond that, it will be curious to see how hard the nerf is on the PTR. Hopefully, some adjustments will be made to leave us near the top of the meters, instead of simply destroying them.

    Sounds like we’re still a couple of weeks from this going live if they are intent on testing it on the PTR. Enjoy your meters and go get taht topend gear now.

  37. Kliu on December 9th, 2008 4:28 pm

    Wait.. where are my hunters pants? Why are you not wearing YOUR pants?
    Is this a graphics glitch?

  38. Ardor on December 9th, 2008 4:53 pm

    Please … Glyph of Stifling Announcements. No longer will you be faced with “Gimliandalfolas has earned the Achievement of Falling Off A Log!”

  39. BRK on December 9th, 2008 5:29 pm

    BRK, when you change your talents, it’s called a “respec.”

    That’s what we get when we allow a spell-checker unfettered access to our posts.

  40. elstor on December 9th, 2008 6:24 pm

    Noooo! I can only use six of these! Also, which are major/minor?

  41. Katchafiya on December 10th, 2008 4:02 am

    “[Glyph of the Ear Muffs] If you can’t stand the sound of hunters and their guns, this will put a silencer on all hunter-weapons within a 100 yard radius.”

    This already exists, and makes using a gun bearable with headphones:

    http://wow.curse.com/downloads/wow-addons/details/silencer-reborn.aspx

  42. Aradae on December 10th, 2008 9:25 am

    Here are a couple glyphs I’d like to see enacted. [Glyph of the Burned Out Healer/Tank] Forces one of your lazy dps friends to reroll a healer/tank so you can finally play your death knight.

    [Glyph of the Unappreciated] Allows a healer/tank to apply a permanent rez sickess-like debuff on a friendly dps character. This is only useable after the dps has bitched about dying/not getting heals after they took damage/pulled aggro they should have been able to avoid. (Like the mage who called me a crappy healer after he stood next to Direbrew while he was doing his whirlwind, and died…. >.< can’t heal through stupidity, sorry guys.)

    The post was awesome though man, keep up the great work!

  43. Joel on December 10th, 2008 11:01 am

    Long time reader, first time responder. That was friggin hilarious!

  44. Holy on December 10th, 2008 3:56 pm

    Glyph of the dirty pond: (Water so dirty the fish can’t wait to get out!) A glyph that moves fishing back down to 1 point per fish.
    Spent a few hours last night staring at a bobber and going blind.

  45. Snipe on December 10th, 2008 10:38 pm

    [Glyph of the Tuna] Lols I did that last night! :D

  46. Eoleo on December 12th, 2008 3:26 pm

    I like the sound of “gnome hunter”, but i’d like it more as a title :P

    /puntgnome