LoLShot?
“We’re going back to Naxx, brain!”
“Oh really, BRK?”
“Yeah! We’re getting people in the raid, gonna down the Spider Wing’s first boss, then to the Military Wing and give the Instructor a couple hundred pieces of ammo upside his head. Yeeha!”
“Well, what’s the raid makeup look like? You know you spec’d out of 3/5 Efficiency and went 3/3 in Improved Stings because our Retribution Paladin has been keeping your mana topped off, so I hope he’ll be back tonight.”
“He will! He’s online right now!”
/ret pally logs off
“Hello? Hey brain, what just happened?”
“He said he has to go to work, BRK.”
“No Ret Pally?”
“No Ret Pally.”
“Uh oh. Our mana…”
“Is going to go down the drain faster than you can say ‘Hunter Nerf’.”
“Do we have time to go respec?”
“Nope. Hope that extra Serpent Sting damage is going to make up for the Aspect of the Viper you’ll be running. Not.”
“{bleep}”
“Very aptly stated.”
“Well, we’ve got a Paladin main tank, that’s spiffy, and who’s the off-tank? Feral Druid like usual? We love +5% to Crit!”
“Nope.”
“No? Whatdaya mean, no?”
“You’ve got a Protection Warrior off-tanking.”
“Um… do prot warriors give +5% to crit?”
“No. No, they don’t.”
“{bleep}”
“Times two.”
“But we have a druid in the raid! Maybe she…”
“Resto.”
“How about that other druid?”
“Boomkin.”
“Oh look, they invited a third druid! Surely that’s a feral cat!”
“Another Boomkin.”
“{BLEEP}!!”
“There’s nothing wrong with Boomkins, BRK.”
“There is when they give bonus to spell crit and bubkis for us!”
“We’ve got a mage…”
“Pfft. Might as well bring a bunneh.”
“Death Knight.”
“Death Knight? Didn’t he just ding 80, like today?”
“Saturday.”
“What kinda outfit are we running here…”
“And three healers. Holy Paladin, Resto Druid of course, and a Discipline Priest.”
“OH! A mana battery!”
“No, that’s a Shadow Priest. Or at least it used to be; who knows what they’re doing with squishies nowadays.”
“What’s the difference between a Holy Priest and a Discipline Priest who heals?”
“Something about a LoLWell.”
“We have never seen anything on the damage meters about a LoLWell, so we probably don’t care, do we?”
“Probably not.”
“So let’s get this straight. Prot Pally MT and Prot Warrior OT. Two Boomkins, Mage, baby DK, and BM Hunter as DPS, and three healers… going to Naxx… to fight a boss we’ve never beaten before.”
“That’s pretty good organizing; you didn’t even have to use me. I’m impressed.”
“Instructor has 3.3 million health. We’ve got no ret pally, no feral druid, no mana battery, and to help us kill this guy, we’ve got a DK in greenies and two walking carpets?!”
“And a mage.”
“And a frost bunneh. Maybe we should feign illness and go farm in The Ultimate Skinner’s Paradise…”
“No. You’re going to suck it up, bring your best, and kill this guy.”
“We’re not going to kill him; we don’t have the DPS in this group. No way.”
“With three healers, perhaps they can keep the assistants alive long enough for you guys to kill the boss.”
“With three healers, perhaps we should tell that DPriest to start wanding!”
“You. Have. No. Faith.”
“We have faith that our repair bill is going to have to be put on a credit card.”
“BRK?”
“Yeah?”
“I think I heard the Instructor insult your pet.”
“He insulted Hobbes?
“Yup. I’m sure of it. He said, ‘What’s that LOLCAT doing in Naxx? I’m going to wear its skin as furry slippers.’”
“HEY! NOBODY insults Hobbes!”
“He said you should’ve brought a real DPS pet. Like a sporebat.”
“SPOREBAT!! HE SAID HOBBES WOULD GET OUT-DPS’D BY A SPOREBAT?! WE’RE GONNA BURN HIM INTO THE GROUND AND HIS CORPSE IS GONNA SINGE THE FLOOR!”
“Get ‘em BRK.”
“Here comes a great big tall frosty glass of IN-YOUR-FACE-JUICE!!! HOBBES!! ATAAAAAAACK!!”
/four minutes later
“BRK?”
“…”
“Yo, BRK.”
“Hullo?”
“You OK?”
“Cut us, brain. You stop this fight we’ll kill ya…”
“He’s dead.”
“Who is, the main tank?”
“No, Instructor. You and some squishies and three healers took out Instructor.”
“No sh!t?”
“None.”
“Well what dropped?”
“Nothing you care about. Leather and plate? Cloth and leather? Whatever.”
“Let us guess: a boomkin and the baby DK made out?”
“They did, yes.”
“We got an emblem?”
“One, yes.”
“How’s our DPS lookin’?”
“Low. Still best in the raid, but you had neither Crit nor mana-regen help, and you had to AotV a lot. Your Serpent Stings looked awesome, though.”
“Get us the nearest port to Ironforge, we’re respecing.”
“To what?”
“Who knows. Holy, maybe.”
Comments
44 Responses to “LoLShot?”





No raiding here yet, but I ran a few heroics with a leveling build and a gorilla and still made the other dps want to kill themselves.
Perhaps, just perhaps I say, the great hunter nerf is… justified?
Naaaaah.
quick correction…balance druids with improved moonkin form have a bit of haste (spell haste == physical haste) added onto their moonkin aura effect, so not TOTALLY useless. and a balance druid without improved moonkin form is a bad balance druid…
BRK, your podcasts made me roll a Hunter.
ROFL @ walking carpets.. and frost bunnah.. I think I peed myself a lil from laughing so hard. I am SO glad I found your site (even if you did roll Alliance.. pffft). Any time I need a good laugh I know where to head. Keep up the great work.
Ahh yes the joys of a ret pally….. I was PROT…. you must remember that NAXX is easyer then kara.
I love the Brk to BRK’s Brain storries
/aplaude
my frost mage buddy is gettin the Bunneh treatment from now on
That last line had me rofl.
Amazing.
Awesome! I am not even a hunter…or really like playing a hunter but love your blog.
Keep it up!
Great job BRK. These posts always make my day:)
So … where is “The Ultimate Skinner’s Paradise…”
???
Inquiring minds want to know.
I believe you may be more happy with improved tracking over stings as 3% more dmg will def beet out the dps added from 3/3 improved stings. Check you log how much of total dmg% was serpent sting, prob like 1-2%
Paradis Island is the ultimate skinners location.
Southwest or Northrend, just about a minute flight south of the lower right town in Borean Tundra. Packs of non-aggressive deer to skin. There are also the aggressive polar bears but they are not packed up.
With a Gorilla you can easily take packs of 10-12 and volley them down.
I wasn’t sure if replenishment was any useful. Good to know it can help.
@haste – the only problem with that location is that they drop scraps about half the time. really the best place for straight borean leather is sholozar. particularly, the areas around the center of the map are full of crocs and snakes, which can be gathered in packs of 4-5 at a time. then you can switch it up and go north to where the red proto drakes fly around and farm borean leather and icy dragonscales at the same time.
@jong – replenishment is nice, but its the judgement of wisdom (which a good holy pally will often apply when they can) which REALLY keeps our mana bars topped off. the last time we did a 10 man, between replenishment buffs from various sources and JoW, i was regenning mana faster than i could use it.
Wow it’s scary when you see #1 and #3 on damage taken were also #3 and #2 respectively on heals done. Kudos to your healers for keeping enough alive to finish it
Great story BRK! I think it also shows somethign important which Blizzard is apparently leaning more towards. Non-traditional groups CAN work if the player has the talent and know how to play their best. In fact I PREFER non-traditional groups because when you succeed (even if you stumble along the way) it is so much more rewarding.
Awesome read again, BRK. I just love your writing style. Oh if you ever want your 5% crit and self-heal back, look me up. Rasi said it best: “I was born feral. Deal with it” A lesser-class? Perhaps, but feral for life and loving it.
I found a great place to farm leather, and ended up grinding all of 79 there (to the tune of about 460k exp / hour).
In Storm Peaks, there is a cave East of the Machine of the Ancients (?…the big pit in the middle of the zone…at work, so I can’t check).
Including the 2 spawn points outside the mouth of the cave, there are 6 static spawn points of pairs of worgs. There is one roaming spawn, and a few worms that pop up every now and again.
I was able to pull all 6 spawn points with a combo of the gorilla, Misdirect, and proximity aggro on me, AoE em down, pop viper when they are all dead, and loot / skin. By the time I was done skinning, I was full mana, and all the spawns were ready to go again. I now have more leather, worm meat, Jor. scales, and Worg Meat than I know what to do with!
Another benefit, is this spot is a short flight to the rumored spawn / patrol of the Time-wasting Drake…er…Time Lost Proto Drake, who drops that fancy mount.
Another spot (especially for those w/o a monkey) SE of this spot, there is another cave, single pull worms. Doing a circuit through the caves will take enough time to where the first one is re-popped by the time you swing back by.
One question for everyone…
Has anyone found that the ’skin rate’ for Arctic Fur may be higher in instances? From 70-80 I’ve skinned 3 total. In one Nexus run the other night, I skinned 4.
Random Number Generator love, or is there something there….???
Adios,
Mestos
*cough*
Hello from one of the lesser classes
Holy priest=raid healing. Most of them don’t even have a lolwell.
Discipline priest= tank healing. You can tell because they put pretty bubbles around people when they crit.
*pats brain*
Our Holy Priest has a LOLwell, and I love it. Once I got used to it. Then again, I’m a warlock, and to me, LOLwell = mana. Its perfect for fights like the Instructor where you are pretty much standing still and can just run up and click.
Oh, and Instructor Razuvious is a big DPS check. Tried it one night (10s) with an under geared hunter and rogue. Wiped 3 times. Replaced the slackers with good DPS and he drops.
LOL thanks – I needed to know that situation doesn’t just happen to me! I need to check what my compradres are using a little more often.
Yeah for Hobbes!!!!
awesome stuff
i’m having to use my worm Williie since we have neither warrior nor rouge for armor reduction so our ret pally and enh shmamie can keep up with me
they’re talking about making me spec SV for when the ret pally isn’t there
the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few…or the one
“Your Serpent Stings looked awesome, though.”
The line that made me LOL, another great and funny story BRK.
Doom wrote:
“@jong – replenishment is nice, but its the judgement of wisdom (which a good holy pally will often apply when they can) which REALLY keeps our mana bars topped off.”
Im a good holy pally
….errrr, maybe not but i do judge frequently!
this post is too funny, I was thinking alot of the same coming into this fight hahaha, but we pulled it off
The fact that you consider 2800 DPS “low” is why I’m now an alcoholic.
Our Serpent Stings did indeed look awesome! 6% of our total DPS from them! /flex
As, 2800 isn’t bad. I can hit 1800 dps with on bad fights in heroic 5 mans (bad meaning no chance to stay still and steady). I’m way under BRK and easily hit 2200 – 2400 dps in standup Heroic fights.
1. Freaking hysterical, if it wasn’t said enough already. I don’t think it can be….
2. Where is ultimate skinning paradise????
Thought you weren’t starting until January?
I have kids, and my guild has already cleared Naxx. Honestly… this is a bummer. I thought your guild was doing something awesome by waiting a couple months.
Oh well :/
Just a tip from a BM Hunter/ Holy Priest: I can and do heal the Main Tank (no Retadin in our raid group yet), and I also keep a Lightwell up when the situation calls for it. No big deal–so easy, even a caveman can do it (or 1-yr-old, depending on which commercial floats your boat).
In my guild I expect holy priests to be able to heal any assignment or combination. Disc priests, not so much; after all, they are mitigators first.
We now return you to your regularly-scheduled hunter talk (which is a lot more fun!).
I wouldn’t knock any raid combination, even if it was 9 bunnehs and a hunter. IMO have a go; if it doesn’t work and we wipe, THEN you can be skeptical. Good players matter a lot
@Mestos: I think you got ripped off on the way to 80 with only 3 arctic furs, I had that many before 71. That said it does seem like the skin rate adjusts up in instances but that may be because we’re fighting a higher class of mob
just wondering, where is this “The Ultimate Skinner’s Paradise”? I’ve found a couple spots that i really like. where do you go?
@MESTOS , yeah i had 11 furs by 77, none from instances. Ur getting screwed by the entity of unreason thats is statistics.
So where exactly is this skinner’s paradise of deer & bears? All that’s south of Valiance Keep or even Unu’pe (going by the “lower right town in Borean Tundra” info) are some penguin-covered icebergs and fatigue-filled water.
Oh, and thanks to BRK for the “stand still & burn Loken down” strategy for Heroic HoL. We wiped 4 or 5 times using various ‘run back & forth’ strategies everyone had read (between pillars, white line) and couldn’t get the coordination down, so I brought up the ’stand-n-burn’ from wowhead & BRK, warning our pally healer that it could be rough. We took down Loken in time for the achievement, and not one death! The Drake-Mounted Crossbow I won in H-UK just prior to that helped a bit.
That’s what we’re TALKIN’ ‘BOUT, right there.
/virtual high-five
Man i wish everyone wanted a feral druid like you in thier raids/ heroics..
know what it feels to be hit capped putting out 2200+ (while doing innervates, roots, off heals BR or whatever else to make pugs/ guild runs smooth) and not get a party due to “lol ferals is broken dps” (according to super smart random Pug leader.
on night me and my hunter friend (who literally just hit 80 that night) joined LFG after spamming various groups if they needed DPS, who gets takin time and time again? Hunter ofcourse…
Thx though seeing you all gushy about Ferals made my day, now if others could just see the light.
Amen, Lithios. Amen Brother. We bring the fun that makes the DPS better. It’s funny how many forget the sweetness that a kitty/bear brings to the table. DPS stats are not the be all end all, IMO.
/lol
Hilarious as usual!
Is Hobbes going to be missing Rake in the big hunter smackdown of 09? Or is it not something to be too worried about?
I’m still trying to figure out if imp stings is worth it. I’m MM, but I never really used serpent sting until I got Chimera, so I never invested in imp stings. I still don’t really think that it’s worth it. Who knows?
And I’m still trying to figure out how to work Arcane into the regular rotation in preparation for the nerf. It’s relegated to only firing when I need an instant and everything else is on cooldown.
Hey, BRK? Our main is a mage. You want some cheese to go with that whine?
@Nyctreinar
BRK’s post was more entertaining than yours.
And Hobbes can’t eat cheese.
[...] Oh, and you seriously consider rerolling as a Bunneh! [...]