Behind the Hunter: The BRK Exposé, Part 1
BRK. The man. The myth in his own mind. You’ve followed him from Blogspot to Bigredkitty.net, from WoWInsider to Project Lore. But how much do you really know about the man behind the hunter? This question is best answered by answering your questions, using my years of carefully kept secrets and BRK insider information, to provide you with a clearer picture of the man who insists upon your worship.
Stop, from The Stoppable Force, asks: Crocolisks: how awesome are they?
BRK is a fan of crocolisks, but you’ll never hear him say it outloud. You’ve heard BRK occasionally speak of his son, Small BRK, but what you don’t know is that 11 years ago, BRK had another son. Unfortunately, the boy was born half crocolisk. Why do you think BRK lives in Florida? It’s so he doesn’t look conspicuous when he takes his son out of the half-flooded basement they keep him in to walk him at night.
Rua asks: What is the deal with this raspberry obsession?
Ah, so we get right into the good stuff quickly. What would a Behind the Hunter story be without a tale of addiction? In his youth, BRK battled extreme addiction problems to the flouride rinse used weekly in many elementary and middle schools. Maybe you’re familiar with it. If your parents hated you enough, they signed you up for the weekly rinse at school. BRK spent many years adding himself to the roster of local middle schools, trying to get his raspberry fix. Unfortunately, since he started balding at the age of 13, this became tougher and tougher for him to accomplish. Today, with his picture up as “arrest on sight” at schools all around Florida, BRK finds the only way to get his fix is to have that repulsive syrup added into his coffee. Make no mistake, it is a sad and disgusting story.
Ougrik asks: What class was BRK’s first character? How high level did he get before he saw a hunter’s pet cat under the effects of bestial wrath and decide he had to have one?
BRK’s first character was a rogue. After all of those years sneaking into schools, he felt most comfortable with a stealthy, sneaky role. Around level 13, in Ashenvale, high on raspberry syrup, BRK wandered into the cave of the Den Mother. Being under the influence and apparently stupidly immune to fear, he began to pick up her cubs and stuff them into his pack. Eventually, the Den Mother awoke, ready to rip his face off. BRK, having not the sense God gave a night elf hunter, removed his glove and slapped her across the face, challenging her to a duel. Instead of inciting a duel, though, the glove-slap actually removed a thorn from the Den Mother’s eye, earning BRK her loyalty forever. So for months, BRK wandered Azeroth as a rogue with a pack of bears following him around and doing his bidding. Eventually becoming sick of the complaints of hax, one night Blizzard changed his character to a hunter and the Den Mother to a cat. Being off his butt on syrup, BRK never actually noticed that it had not always been that way.
Willow asks: So….does BRK have any tattoos? If so, what and where, please.
No, BRK does not have any tattoos. However, he does occasionally take a black sharpie and write “YOU DA MAN” across his chest backwards, dramatically tearing his shirt open in front of the mirror many times per day.
Figworth asks: Does BRK have a big nose?
BRK doesn’t have a nose. It’s a very sore subject with him. However, he still loves his half-crocolisk son as much as he loves the other one.
Matt asks: So, I’ve always been curious, just what does BRK actually do at NASA?
To the best of my understanding, BRK works with the space monkeys they occasionally do spacey type tests on. After a hard day of testing, sometimes the monkeys are a little tired, a little dejected, and in need of some fun and an ego boost. That’s when they bring in BRK and let the monkeys beat him at checkers.
Actually, in seriousness, I’ve never quite managed to not tune out at least some part of a conversation with BRK, and thus don’t really have too clear of a picture of what he does. I’m reasonably certain it’s the monkey thing, but it also might be something along the lines of if something were to go wrong, BRK is among the people who make sure that any falling space vehicle would not fall on your head, your house or your pet goldfish.
*****
Internet, that is all I have for the first Part of the BRK Story, I hope I have cleared up a few points. Later this evening/tomorrow morning (even though I now live in Arizona, I still assume the majority of the planet is on EST for some unknown reason), I will be back with Part 2, in which I will tackle all of the serious hunter/WoW questions. If a man strung out on raspberry lattes can do it, there’s no reason I can’t.
DFTBA,
TJ
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I’m intrigued and repulsed. Please continue.
LOL
I KNEW It! I just knew it!
Haha this is awesome, can’t wait for Part 2!
rofl I can’t wait for part 2
Muhahahaha
Thank you for the look at the inner workings. When do we put Brain In the spotlight for questions?
I knew there was more to the raspberry story than he was letting on.
We need to set up an intervention…
Hillarious!
i always thought he was the head Janitor at NASA….hahaha
Another Arizona player!
Love the jabs at BRK
Oh this makes my weekend.
A, a white shirt and tie?! Say it ain’t so!
Fantastic stuff…keep it coming!
OK…is it just me or does BRK look a little like The Edge from U2 in that photo?
I’m not sure if I should be frightened or amused at that.
Looking forward to the next post TJ.
LMAO @ the half-crocolisk son XD
good stuff, looking forward to next post.
What does he keep in that GINORMOUS shirt pocket?
I call Shenanigans!
Without thr pocket protector,,, it ain’t BRK
lol awesome
VERY funny stuff!
Great post, thanks for letting us in on all those things. Looking forward to the next post.
you are truly evil tj i had my suspicions but now its settled. YOU ARE EVIL… that is all
BRK should do a TJ expose
I really expected to see a short heavy set man, with a long red beard, wearing a funny hat
BOOYEAH, TJ!!! BOOYEAH!
LOL @ Frostwolf
I saw black hair, but it was all the same for me, too. ^^
i though BRK started as a boomkin got sick of beeing out dpsed bye the healers so tamed a kitty druid blizzard realiseing it was hax punished BRK by turning him into a ginger kid with a bb gun and pet kittey (still contloled by the druid explaining why brk dose so much damage 2 players better that 1)
So you’re a Nerdfighter? Nice.
@Sentient: Awesome.
My that is a large shirt pocket. I was distracted by the perfectly tied double windsor at first.
-John
http://img7.imageshack.us/img7/8440/brkreal.jpg
fix’d
I’m not the only one who rocks the Double Windsor!
BRK, you always manage to make my day start right
Though i don’t play my Dwarf Hunter char anymore (Am hooked on a Druidette) i still have to read your blog daily, first thing in the morning @ Office.
Joyful post as usual, Keep it up.
Hunters tame animals, Mages tame Hunters…I SHEEP YOU!
Serious question though…
Do you think BRK could tame my mother-in-law?
Oh, a Nerdfighter!
WOO. Incredibly jokes.
Hilarious article.
Good job, I’ll keep an eye out for the next one. 
Datanomi !
shame on you TKL oh i mean TJ…. you know who i
mean…
bwaaahahaha!!! This explains so much! Can’t wait for part 2, TJ!
@Magebleck
As a mother-in-law myself…I doubt it, I seriously doubt it.
T.J.
Marry me. Or, at least my character…:D
BTW, marriage: BRK, NASA, weird stuff… Does anybody aware of the fadt that Mrs. BRk lived in a bottle?
Wow… The pic totally doesn’t match the voice, but I like that surprise!
/Hunterly love all around~
Ok, that was just plain funny.
@Elvenlight: Sorry, taken (NOT by BRK, to lay those rumors to rest.)
The black block has successfully stopped me from matching the voice to the face
I will match them one day
Also what could possibly be so big and important that it needs to have a giant pocket on his shirt?
You guys… it’s not a giant pocket… Its a tiny BRK. They had to hem a shirt from his crocolisk son to fit him.
@Moun – Awesome fix!
12.03am Monday morning
No Part 2
strung out on caffeine and no-doze and no freaking Part 2
Color me disappointed, TJ
=(
still tons of <3 for ya though
but you knew that ^_~
T.J.
Of course you are taken. You are just too good.
But we elves have a very, very long life. ….And we are patient. 
(Did I mention my sexy pointy ears yet? 
)
Is it just me, or does BRK look like Donald Fagan?
I two have been waiting patiently for installment two of the great BRK expose.
OMG I too….
So this is what the blog has turned into, eh?
Last time I came here you were selling carved wood…
Now I know why you’re not on my favorites list anymore.
@Foxtrot: If you’re serious, then…. uh…… /whoosh!
Don’t you mean level 13 in Darkshore? Ashenvale is a lvl 20+ish zone… and the Den Mother is in Darkshore.
C’mon Hunters!
The pocket is that size so that BRK can get the 15% haste by equipping his pocket protector, er, ammo pouch, there!
No more posts like this.
NO MORE!
where’s BRK?!
Noon Monday and still no Pt. 2. Methinks BRK hath discovered the coup attempt.
Maybe while in the raging midst of a raspberry bender, BRK came back early and put a stop to the “Expose” shenanigans
=(
is that rlly a pic of brk himself ?
or is it just for the ‘lulz’ ?
I still think he’s rockin’ a hidden kitty tattoo somewhere lascivious.
No Whoosh…
Now we know why posts have been sporadic and just fluff.
The wifey finally laid down the law and must have given him the ultimatum.
That’s why I always tell people – this is a video game. You should never let the game come before family. If you can’t moderate your time spent on WoW the wife gets pissed off.
No one’s fault really, but your own.
Good luck in whatever you end up doing.
WoW will still be here if she ever lets you play again!